Thursday, July 31, 2008


My good friend Forest just launched an inspirational website for folks who don't really know where they're headed in life. It's called the Quarter-Life Handbook and is chock full of quotes from everyone from Steven Colbert to me. It's pretty much going to be the most popular college graduation gift ever if it ever makes it to the printing press.


Twin Cheeks made People magazine's website! Well, kind of. People is for the people (of middle America), so they decided on not mentioning the Cock or Twin Cheeks by name. But DJ Sparber did get a special shout out, maybe because I saved the juicy yet depressing detail for them that La Lohan requested Kate Perry's I Kissed a Girl while partying at the Cock Monday night. To her dismay, I do not have nor wish to ever play that song.

We're on Gawker too. And Perez Hilton. But Perez doesn't believe in linking to Twerking. Or give his "sources" any props. Lame.

UPDATE: People Magazine (the print edition) named checked DJ Sparber! In the Jolie-Pitt Twins cover issue! And New York mag's Intelligencer picked up on it too in It Happened Last Week.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008


Co-DJ Jimmy was all about blowing up an inflatable pool and filling it with water for last Wednesday's midsummer Good Times at Eastern Bloc and having drink specials for boys in bathers. Then the torrential downpour started so we decided hold off on that one and just bring out the summer jams instead.

Miss Kyle came out from semi-retirement as a go-go slut to say hey and have a drink. He also managed to keep his clothes on and his hands off the stripper pole the entire night.

I hadn't seen Cameron in a hot minute so we caught up on everything from the Yaz concert to his adventures in three-way relationships, which always remind me of Rosanne Barr.

Charles (second from left, making the diva face) is a total godsend! At Monday's Twin Cheeks at the Cock, he turned to me and was like, Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson just walked in and I was like, very funny. But they did! So he relayed my drink tickets to them and they danced till 4am.

I SMELL GINGER! I also find the skinny mini on the right quite foxy. Or maybe its just his cute peach fuzz.

Wouldn't it be horrible (yet funny) if he hit her on the back of the neck and her face stayed like that forever?

Gearing up for Folsom!

GOSSIP! New Jersey David (center) is no longer living in Jersey. He is officially Queen David from now on, until he becomes Brooklyn David in two years and Manhattan David five year after that.


Richard (left) and Steven were feeling my W.I.T. tracks, which are suddenly feeling retro chic. Bring back electroclash!

Carefully concealed man purse.

Sup dudes? Wet outside, huh?

A sweet jesus, posing next to Sweet Jesus.

Simon (left) scored tickets to that Karen O. side project performance in Brooklyn last Monday but I had to DJ and missed all the amazingness. Speaking of which, have we done a Yeah Yeah Yeahs party? I can't even remember anymore.

Designer stubble.

Sweet jesus on sweet jesus action.

Me and the art schoole grads known as Jarrod (right) and Garrett (left), with a lady friend whose name escapes me. Note to admirers: Garrett likes anything wearing a flat-brim cap.

Reminiscent of how the gays reacted at Twin Cheeks upon hearing Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson were at the party. And now I'll shut up about it.

Kissy fit.

Andre (center) is back from San Fran for good! Though he only moved there five months ago, he came to his senses and realized the west coast just wasn't ready for a drag queen willing to do dirty dirty things on stage with a cucumber.

DANCE PARTY USA! I think the rain let up by 1 or 2am and everyone was once again dry enough to form some sweat puddles on the dance floor.

Colin (left) and Marlon, reveling in the sounds of the Ting Tings, which will be on blast for the next few weeks after having seen them perform in Brooklyn last Sunday.

Rob (right) has a magical way about him where he can hone in on the hottest men at a bar and engage them for hours. Methinks its the British accent. Oh, and he's NOT wearing a navy blue tee this week (they were all in the wash).

Maximiliano (left) and I are obsessed with retarded facebook status updates, i.e. getting the 5 o'clock ferry! Apparently we're both into big beefy dudes too.

Tastes like Korean barbecue. See you next Wednesday! Or Monday at the Cock. Or this Thursday at a new Annex party called Tricky. I DJ, Linda Simpson, Ernie and Michael T. host. Svedka gets you drunk on open bar.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008


Lindsay Lohan and DJ girlfriend Samantha Ronson rolled up to my Monday night Twin Cheeks party at the Cock shortly before 3am last night and shut down the place with us at 4am, dancing to the Ting Tings' That's Not My Name and making small talk with the gays. Lindsay requested Kylie's Two Hearts and we chatted between tracks about our mutual hometown of Merrick, Long Island and the Party Monster soundtrack. The cute couple made out here and there but mostly enjoyed themselves, giving me the literal thumbs up at my playlist. Come back soon Linds!

Monday, July 28, 2008


Big tings a gwan for Sparber in New York City this week.

MONDAY - You still haven't come to Twin Cheeks at the Cock yet? Mondays are the new Sundays and I'm on an L7 tip right now. 11pm - 4am. Tonight's password = GOD WARRIOR.

TUESDAY - Unless you're up early to catch my morning gig for an event at Gracie Mansion, the mayor's quarters, come work out while I DJ lots of Armand Van Helden later in that day at David Barton on 23rd St. 530pm - 930pm.

WEDNESDAY - Good Times @ Eastern Bloc. 10pm - 4am. Need I say more?

THURSDAY - New party! I'm spinning the opening night of a new happening down at the Annex called Tricky. Michael T. and Linda Simpson host while Svedka gets you drunk off an open vodka bar from 11pm till they run out.

SATURDAY - Private event on Long Island, notable because I'm getting behind the wheel of a car for the first time in nearly 10 years.


Read the NY Times obituary here.

Sunday, July 27, 2008


Saturday club life has been on the upswing in the past few months thanks to reopening of Mr. Black and an Avenue C dance party known as Family over at 40C. The bar/club had been hosting straight parties for its short existence until promoter Michael T. took over bookings and invited Formika to start up the Saturday soiree. The bar, however, has recently made its way onto Craigslist's For Sale section for $250K, plus $7450/month rent. And you get to keep the ice machine!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008


Cherry-flavored Good Times went down last Wednesday at Eastern Bloc in the form of Neneh Cherry night. Those who couldn't strike a Buffalo Stance were blown Kisses on the Wind by yours truly and asked to chug one more drink from our Homebrew.

Actually, Pailo (left, with Roger and Victor) was floored that I hadn't brought out Neneh's second album, Homebrew, which he later burned and delivered on Saturday.


So temptingly teasing us with that "I know you want me on the pole" look. I'm sure I was playing Hey Big Spender at this point too. Just kidding (but maybe I'll bring it next week).

Kelvin was a little late so Matt the Baker helped out with camera duties, hence the extreme close-ups of random hot strangers.

Pablo's back! Except he's leaving again on Wednesday for Spain, where he plans to move in January. Doesn't it look like he's entering the bar with his dad and half sister?

Eric Leven is really loving his cut-off button-down plaids this summer. Very Real World New York circa 1992. We love you Norm!

Speaking of love, here's some after work dance floor lovin' going on to the tunes of the new CSS album, which is really really good.

Timmy (right), his friend and his camera face, now in Johnny Cash colors.

Ken (center) IS the French connection. This week he brought out Ghyles, not to be confused with Yoann, whom he brought out last month. Dur dur d'etre Ken Baldwin.

Jimmy's friend Francisco (left) was in town from London and got buck wild with us all night despite his meeting the next morning at like, 7am. The Spanish know how to party.

Matt the Baker (left), showing Francisco the New York City ropes that always lead back to the bathroom.

I saw Christian (center) not once, not twice but three times last week and I still feel like it wasn't enough. He is pure pleasure and tranquility when not groping my chest.

Rumors are swirling that Jason (right) may soon become a nightlife promoter thanks to the success of his last Palms Out Sounds party.

Please remember to use suntan lotion Marlon (right)! And that goes for you too, cute latino friend on the left!

Actually, doesn't cute latino friend kind of look like Gael Garcia Bernal?


Cracked-out cross-eyed cigarette realness. Is she holding a fallen balloon or did she leave her dog outside just to get a quick drink at Good Times?

Apparently logo-less shirts are all the rage these days. Tony (left) and his true Italian colors really flourish in this weather and I'm not complaining.

NEWSFLASH! Jenna (left) lost her wallet this week and has no photo ID to get into bars! Her friend, meanwhile, doesn't care and is trying to tell us that the humpty dance is your chance to the hump.

Blue eyes, furry chest, striped tank top = sign me up.

Remember when John Kerry's daughter wore that dress to Cannes that you could totally through with flash photography. Something to think about next time you plan an outfit.

Hot for Hillary tshirts are suddenly hot for discount tshirt bins. Till she's nominated for VP, that is.


WHAT?! Armando (on the right, with the stripes) was dancing up a storm at my party and this is the only picture of him on the roll?!! Kelvin = so fired.

Hola guapo.

There was no shortage of handsome Spanish-looking men, or as Geri Halliwell once said, mi chicos latinos.

Danart, Ryan and Anddy (from left) are usually begging to hear Geri all night long (Ride It!) but were unusually calm this past Wednesday.

The handsomeness that is Ari (left) wasn't too friendly but how could I hate on those puppy dog eyes.

Oddly enough, the glass-cubed windows outside of Eastern Bloc have rarely been photographed. Thanks for striking a pose Shane (right) and friend.

Garret (second from right) is simply the toast of Brooklyn. Handsome AND charming. He's obviously a taurus.

Is it an illusion or is he totally wearing eye makeup? Michael T. is the only one allowed to do that in my book.

Getting back to the Neneh Cherry theme, why do all her songs mention manchild? Why does Raw Like Sushi sound like the perfect name for a Paul Morris porn film?

Your weekly Good Times porn, courtesy of Roger (left) and Victor, sexiest couple of the week.

Your Good Times hosts with Francisco, who is going to work on getting me a DJ gig at Horse Meat Disco. Work those international DJ connections folks! I might even be doing SF's Folsom this year.

Late night with Duane, who had a drink with us after a boots and swimsuit party over at Spit.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG SCOT! You are best doorman ever! Now shut up, get out. Don't hang about. Finish your glasses and move your asses. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here. I GOT PLANS, AND YOURE NOT INCLUDEDDDDDDDDDDD.

Good night and good luck. See you next week!