Tuesday, March 31, 2009

BIJOUX

The funniest thing on TV last week.



And the full-length!

YOUR DAILY TRANNINESS

Brought to you by me, Dina Delicious and photographer Jeff of Wilson Models.


Rupaul - Trannychaser

PITBULL PUSHES THE FEELING ON



Oh yes he did. Mister electronic dance music sampler snags one from the Nightcrawlers' classic Push the Feeling On. See hideous 90s Brighton, England photo booth music video above.

Pitbull - Room Service

I DEMAND ANOTHER SEASON


What would it take to bring back the Comeback for another season? I am serious. I live for this show and have watched the entire series something like 40 times. DESPERATE for another season. Help a brother out!

Monday, March 30, 2009

WHEN BEAUS GROW BEARDS

...I reach my Point Break.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

10 RANDOM DJ BOOTH REVIEWS

Party goers just love a sleek looking DJ booth, though the DJ's job to, err, DJ isn't always taken into consideration when constructing such habitats, which is why I present to you 10 DJ booth reviews from recent jobs I've had.

1. Lavish Lounge - My latest DJ adventure into Astoria led me to this charming and unexpected bar which has more of a DJ room than a booth, meaning I had to face a wall and DJ while looking onto the club through a paneless window.

2. Bowery Hotel - The epitome of "wow, what a great looking DJ booth" that's actually completely impractical. Built into a wall, the booth is smaller than a tiny walk-in closet, hotter than a sauna and half of the mixer (aka the bass and treble knobs) is inaccessible because of the equipment shelf they built over it.

3. Eastern Bloc - Roomy DJ booth that is cleverly perched just above the audience, so you can bear witness to all without being too far removed from the action.

4. The Cock - Good location for seeing what's happening around you and talking to patrons, though said patrons often mistake the DJ's bench as another place to lounge or get a lap dance.

5. Beatrice Inn - Whose idea was it to place this booth all the way in the back room when the majority of bar space is up front? This makes for my least favorite scenario, which I call "remote DJing," aka DJing for a crowd you can't see for most of the night. Horrid.

6. Kingswood - Stellar equipment but really no booth whatsoever. It's you behind the bar with all the bartenders, and if you're shorter than six feet (like me), you might need to stand on a milk crate.

7. Mr. Black (front room) - One of those old school DJ nests that you have to climb a ladder to get to. Great equipment and view of the crowd but don't expect to talk to any of your friends while you're "working."

8. Gracie Mansion - Fantasy DJ set up, mostly because the mayor has his own sound team that will hang around and fix any and every problem you could possibly encounter. They also have more speakers than god himself.

9. G Lounge - People love to ask me if I hook up in DJ booths, which is mostly impossible except for here, where you have a hard-to-access door entrance and window that looks out onto the floor. What happens below the waist is anybody's guess.

10. David Barton Gym - By booth, I mean table with two CDJs which sometime skip back one track, which is always awkward midsong. Also nested on the balcony and conveniently located near the only water fountain in the place, which makes for great people watching.

Friday, March 27, 2009

A VERY TALENTED VIDEO ARTIST WITH THE ORIGINAL HANDLEBAR MUSTACHE

The incredibly talented Spanish bear daddy known as Juanjo makes amazing art video collages. We wanna collaborate and do an art party with projections one day soon but for now, Juanjo needs to get paid. If you have any video jobs for him, let him know (jj.smart.inez@gmail.com). Here's his mesmerizing reel.


Juanjo's Promo Reel from Josh Sparber on Vimeo.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

GOOD TIMES: RAPSTRESSES DELIGHT

We've done Trina nights and Lil Kim vs. Foxy Brown nights and even Khia vs. Riskay nights at our Good Times party at Eastern Bloc on Wednesdays, so it only seemed fitting to give Jacki-O her fair share, even if her latest effort, Little Red Riding Hood, is less than mediocre.


Apparently the ladies were out in full effect, showin' their love for female rapstresses in the form of hail Hitler salutes.


Hunky dory.


The cuteness that is Erik Karff (right), blocking the cuteness that is sitting in the center of these three. Thanks Erik.


Lots of peace signs were thrown around last Wednesday, maybe because Jacki-O has tried to start beef with every female rapper under the sun. Seriously. If you youtube her, you find more diss videos that Miami poolside videos. What's that about?


Ciao bellos! Enrico (center) and his Italian amicos, out for a fun-filled evening that didn't even include espresso and gelato.


Matt the Baker (left, with yours truly) finally got a good dose of Good Times when took off from coat check due to his impending trip to London the following day. He's back now and feeling jolly, thanks for asking.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY KURT (left)! May all your dreams of Broadway stardom come true before the world ends in 2012.


A handsome Christmas combo just in time for spring! One on the left needs to come back next week when Kele of Bloc Party and Baby C do a special guest DJ set and propose to me.


Paul, Makario and friend (from left), grooving on the non-Sheena Easton version of Sugarwalls by the one and only, Jacki-O.


Bow down to the almightiness that is my silver blazer, betch.


We wear short shorts.


Wait. There is definitely some Nazi skinhead something running throughout these photos. Maybe they were jealous of our Purim party ferocity.


Mikey (bottom right), exploding with joy over his upcoming adventure to Thailand in April.


People like posing instead of dancing when you play songs that they might not be familiar with, such as Jacki-O's Nookie, the best vajayjay-inspired song since Prince's Pussy Control.


Which is why I had to throw on some Lil Kim faves such as Suck My Dick, which Kevin (right) apparently knows every single word to. "ALL I WANNA DO IS GET MY PUSSY SUCKED!"


And then there's Trina's whoop whoop, pull over dat ass iz too phat, which always makes for spontaneous pole dancing.


Why oh wyatt don't they make female rappers like they used to? That said, I'm feeling the new Keri Hilson.


And they were feeling the old Hot Spot courtesy of Inga Marchand aka Fox Boogie Brown.


Who you callin' a bitch?


Scruffy and scruffier. I think Devin's chin (left) has hypnotic powers over me.


HAPPY ALMOST BIRTHDAY MICHAEL (left)! You'll always be one month older than me and I'll never, ever let you forget it.


Since the regular Good Times Mexican posse is on hiatus in Mexico City (we miss you Carlos), we're currently auditioning new gay Mexican substitute posses.


Kevin (left, with Douggie and friends), giving gay Spike-Lee-goes-to-Cali-and-stars-in-a-porn realness.


The party got bumpin' and I think I switched to dancier stuff (aka Roisin Murphy) but Kelvin got distracted by a friend of Katy Perry's. Hot and cold much?


My most favorite tall people ever! Steph Stone (left, out of costume) has confirmed that she will indeed be making a rare appearance at our Good Times Two Year Anniversary April 8. BRING IT STEPH!


Redheads Who Wear Red: a photo exploration into the bizarre phenomenon.


I haven't seen Tim (right) in a hot minute. What's up with that? She loves her some rapstress delight a la Princess and Crime Mobb. Stiletto pumps, y'all!


Fritz giving kissy face (center) and Andre (right) giving playmate pin-up poses.


Jimmy's gone monthly! That's right. He has one more party to DJ at our two-year anniversary and then he'll return some time in May to be a monthly guest, meaning I have a few other guest surprises up my sleeve in the coming weeks.


Good clean wholesome fun. See you next week. Oh wait! I didn't even make mention of how fantastic our monthly Love Hangover Sunday disco party was, so here are a few snapshots. BONUS!


Your disco hostesses Gant (right), me and Darren (left). Darren is also filling in Gant as disco DJ extraordinaire at the next Love Hangover, tentatively scheduled for Sunday April 26.


Disco dance party! The pics don't really do justice to how everybody just loves to dance to disco music.


My personal favorite moment of the night was when Gusty Winds (pictured) showed up with a pizza pie (!) and proceeded to turn it out on the go-go pole to the sounds of Gwen Guthrie's Ain't Nuthin' Goin' on But the Rent.


A party wouldn't be a party without our glamazon host Miss Linda Simpson. And pizza! Most genius party prop ever.


See you next Love Hangover! Or next Good Times with guest DJ duo Vice Versa, featuring Baby C and Kele of Bloc Party!!!!!

NOW PLAYING AT GOOD TIMES, WEDNESDAY


Uber-handsome, uber-talented Bloc Party frontman Kele Okereke (pictured) guest DJs with uber-handsome, uber-hilarious bad gyal Baby C (not pictured) as VICE VERSA at this week's Good Times at Eastern Bloc, Wednesday!

BITCHES IN THE SKY


Love Hangover's disco hostess extraordinaire Linda Simpson has a new blomic book (blog comic book) called Bitches in the Sky. Starring Ladyfag! Captions by DJ Michael Magnan! So this is what nightlife people do in the late afternoon, early evening.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

EBAY AUCTION OF THE WEEK

Act out those early 20th century UK judge fantasies! Bidding is up to $770 here.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Thursday, March 19, 2009

CYCLING HAZARDS


A tipster told us he was pulled over by a police patrol car down in Tribeca yesterday afternoon for running a red light on his bike and given a $150 ticket! If that wasn't bad enough, the po-po slapped him with a $50 fine for not having a bell on his bike to boot.

Has anyone ever heard of such nonsense? Ideas? Suggestions? I've heard of fines for riding on the sidewalks but this seems a bit far-fetched. Also, anyone have an extra bell for my bike?

SEPARATED AT BIRTH


Date a Jonas brother! Not really, but Twerking friend Andrew F. (right) has an uncanny and adorable resemblance to youngest Jonas heartthrob Nick (left). Lucky for you, Andrew is gay, single and of age.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

DOUSTER

Near the top of my Argentine agenda last month was to check out the Zizek party, some strange blend of cumbia, reggaeton, electro and dance. I wanted to see for myself, but alas, the party was no longer and I forgot about it. UPDATE - The party was on summer hiatus, not over.

Today, I discovered that Zizek is in part brainchild of Douster, a handsome french DJ/producer who a) has a new mix out and b) is coming to nyc to play Santos' Party House Saturday April 4. Any takers?

GOOD TIMES: HEY MAN, MAN! (OUR PURIM PARTY)

Oy vey! Last Wednesday's Hey, Man Haman!, our Good Times purim party at Eastern Bloc was rowdier than a wholesale jewish shopping frenzy. As was our wild winter barbecue on Sunday and last night's hair metal Boy Box debut at G Lounge. But since we only photo-ed for purim, I only these delicious treats to share:


Joshua (right) and friend probably weren't in the know that Purim is the jewish version of Halloween (whatever that means - my hebrew school teacher told me that).


A circuit lady, getting her lick on as practice for the upcoming Black Party, the circuit of all nyc circuits.


Okay, okay, so nobody really takes the whole halloween-on-Purim thing seriously. I guess skinny jeans and tshirts sort of a cotume of their own anyways.


"HOLY CLEAVAGE!"


Bada bing, bada BOOM! You can cover my eyes all you'd like.


Speaking of eyes, his are about to pop out of his head in excitement for the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs album. It's that good. I bet that's why headphones boy is carrying around his own music instead of listening to mine.


Eagerly anticipating Manischewitz and some Klezmer music.


The man of the hour and Purim party co-host Benji (with plate) baked the yummiest hamantaschen cookies EVER! I actually had to hide a bunch in the DJ booth so they wouldn't disappear in .2 seconds.


My other favorite jewess and co-host Eric, who brought graggers and masks and his big jew nose for all of us to enjoy over the course of the evening.


Tony (center) was DYING for a hamantaschen. Like, kept asking where they were and when they'd be arriving. He wasn't disappointed either.


Say hey for haman, ladies! Haman is like, the bad guy in the unexciting biblical story of purim. But what's fun is that when you hear his name, you are supposed to make loud, angry noises, hence the graggers, aka noisemakers or clapping machines, as seen here.


Did someone say Sparber is spinning in the main room at the Skinny this week (with Cazwell)? I think yes.


Good Times or Coach bag advertisement?


The handsomeness that is Petey (left) came rolling through with a friend, both dressed in snazzy spring-is-almost-here coats.


Charlie (center) says yes we can to bringing Betty Boo back into heavy rotation.


I'm not exactly sure which Purim character that mask represents but its a white guy wearing a blue turban. How does that work?


Thank you Tim and Diana, for being the most wonderful Manischewitz shot girl ever! Diana and Tim actually told patrons that they had to drink Manischewitz or else they were holocaust deniers. Ummmm, not my instructions you guys.


King Ahasuerus, Queen Esther (center) and evil evil Andy Starkweather (right). I mean Haman. (cue the graggers.)


Christian, Greg and Greg (from left), high on poppy-filled hamantaschen. Actually, Benji baked prune and apricot hamantaschen, which is standard fare for American jews and my fave. I think Israelis like poppy hamantaschen.


ANDY (left) AND ERICK BRING DA JEW BLING! These two (and Duane) win the award for most festive for making the most incredible jew necklaces (a star of david menorah and money) everrrrrrr!!!


She looks like Perry Farrell in the making and I am loving her for that.


Purim isn't one of those holidays that you receive presents on, but if it was, I'd cross my fingers and hope for Kevin (left, with John) wrapped with a pink bow on top.


I've said it before and I'll say it again: who says you have to have a beard to come party at Good Times? (but it does help.)


Duane and Andy, giving nomadic kosher purim realness!


Danny, David and Christian (from left) decided to dress as flat-brimmed homothugs for Purim, which also went over quite well.


Faris, now under new management.


Kevin, James and Gary, with their rent-a-jew-mom for the evening, who will come out to bars and clubs with you and nag you about all the chores you left unfinished at home.


Medo (left) and Tony, doing some King Ashasuerus and Vashti (the king's wife, who also happens to have the best name ever) role playing.


Roberto (left, with Chris), who once tried to pass himself off as an Italian but is really a big jew (albeit, an Italian jew, meaning his mom must be twice as intense) from Astoria.


Black Party ain't till next week guys! But if you do go out Saturday night and are still rolling by 10pm Sunday, come to Love Hangover, the monthly disco thing me, Gant and Linda Simpson do. It'll be fabu.


Barrett (right) is about as non-jewish as it gets. I mean, his name is Barrett and that's why we love him.


Speaking of love, I'll take the one on the right, minus the engagement ring on his finger.


Yes, kids, the hamantaschen were THAT good. Maybe we need to commission Benji to bake them for other jewish holidays. Like Tu Bishvat, the festival of trees, with tree fruits (such as prunes and apricots. Hint hint).


Purim some sugah on me. In the name of love!


On the count of three, say meshugana!


MESHUGANA!


Rich King really makes the prettiest jew of 'em all. We hear that his Tuesday set at Macoco this week was off the chart so we can't wait to hear what he'll turn out at the black party VIP room.


Did I mention that we were very very crowded?


We hear that Anddy (right) is leaving the sunny shores of New York for the windy city of Chicago. We are very heartbroken over this and hoping it is just a rumor.


Go-go boys of Eastern Bloc past Chris (right) and Darren (center), with yours truly. Jimmy was back in town this week so I finally got to do a little schmoozing and boozing of my own.


Apparently, Jimmy (left, attacking Kyle) did a little boozing too.


DON'T FORGET TO BRING AN ID, FOLKS! Doorman Scotty is none too please when I have to go vouch for adorable young gingers such as Patrick (right).


Say what? No Passover party? Well Passover is like, next week. Okay, it's in two weeks. Maybe I'll bring in some matzah if you promise not to make a huge mess like we did last year when I kept cracking it over everyone's head.


JEWCY AND FASHIONABLE!


Thank you to Gabriel (left) and Sammy (now a blonde!) for helming the bar while Darren was off in Berlin with hot german muscle daddies, working on some DJ gigs for us in June.


Art school students, keeping it real as the party winds down, if you couldn't tell by the toilet paper debris (???)


Thanks for jewing out with your lovely Good Times crew, Jimmy (left), Kelvira and myself. Jimmy will actually be stepping back and only DJing once a month, which means more guests and surprises, like this super secret rock star DJ duo who we're having March 25. You're gonna gag!