Friday, October 27, 2006


On Tuesday, I attended the biggest gay bar opening ever...BIG LUG!

And when I say biggest, I'm not exaggerating. Big Lug used to be a Tuesday night party at Nowhere Bar for gay fatties and the men who love them. Now it's an all-week affair at the space where Route 85a used to be (and where I used to DJ).

Ludo, Matt and I rocked up at 11 to a huuuuuge line. Literally. This picture doesn't really do it justice but I couldn't stop thinking, "since when are there this many fat gay men in New York City?" And who knew they all went out late on Tuesdays? I tried sweet talking the bouncer but being, er, small and slender, he didn't really give me the time of day. Ludo and Matt are at the back of the line.

Twenty minutes later, we entered to find a packed (read: claustrophobic) party. I kept thinking how unfortunate it would be if a fire were to break out because there was no way I was getting past any of those fatties. Then Matt was like, "You should open a hot dog stand outside. You'd make a KILLING!"

This is the lovely view I had from a seat I finally found toward the back of the bar. From there, I watched fatty love unfold before my eyes. I wasn't in a drinking mood so I mostly talked to Ludo and watched fat guys like the one pictured above walk past me and ogle the crowd.

We left Matt at the bar to work his magic on the other big luggers. You should have heard them drool when he told them that he owns a bakery. Talk about a pick-up line.


diana said...

FEEDBACK: this is your funniest post yet. I am LOLing at work. A+

Sparber said...

THANKS! If anyone else is reading this, FEEDBACK PLEASE.

dirty said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
dirty said...

karma's a bitch. in a couple years you'll blend right in with all those big lugs.

JMG said...

Not funny.

Some of my friends are in these pictures. What's your DJ name so I remember to disrecommend you?