Wednesday, May 09, 2012


Four years ago, I ventured over to London the first week of May to celebrate my birthday with one of my favorite Taurus DJ friends ever, The Duchess of Pork (aka Alex K.), who was born on the date after me but a few years before me if that makes any sense. This year, Alex celebrated with me stateside along with my best mates from New York, London and elsewhere at our weekly Wednesday Good Times party at Eastern Bloc.

Early in the evening, everyone got super excited for the best birthday surprise ever (including DJ Ryan Smith, pictured here), which involved another London DJ sister, Princess Michael of Cunt, secretly flying in to surprise the other birthday boy (hence the Kristen Wiig-like surprise party sketch jubilation).

The moment Alex first caught a glimpse of the surprise guest, who was hiding out in the DJ when Alex sauntered up. SURPRIIIIIIIIIIIIIISE!

The reunion! (And from this moment forward, Team London and Team New York combined powers to create the best birthday Good Times ever.)

I also had my fare share of surprises in the form of 1) those awesome posters that bartender Darren sneakily made and hung before flying off to London for the week and 2) ONE-HALF NELSON! She didn't put any Grace in my Face this time around but I did get a little show to the tune of John Forte and Wyclef Jean's 99 Red Balloons cover.

Mikey F. is back from Milan and already planning his house hopping tour of Ibiza and beyond for the summer of 2012. Trying to get her to swing a few Berlin dates in there with me as well.

Handsome Latin men queued up near the DJ booth, as requested (though I think they were waiting for the toilets rather than me. Wah wahhhhhh.)

Taylor, Tim and friend (from left) giving seriousness and serious leather jacketedness.

A big thank you to George (right) for both helping me out with the photos this particular week and for discovering this big ol' beefcake lurking somewhere in the bar during the weekly $1 vodkas from 11 - 1130pm.

Matt (left) and his hunky ginger-bearded friend whose name I didn't catch though I do love how their eyes match oh so nicely. Perhaps I can consider him a birthday present?

The return of Kevin F. (right), who has been busy touring India and Sri Lanka and bartending and maintaining a RELATIONSHIP! We have yet to meet the lucky fellow but we're pretty it isn't George (left).

Pinks, reds and oranges, all with hats to mix and match.

The bar got way crowded early on before some crazy ass torrential downpour thunderstorm show started outside. Inside, the shows were all about purple cardigans and that business casual done-with-work-and-ready-to-fuck kind of look.

Mike the teacher (left) skipped grading some papers for an evening to hang with me and the Londoners and deliver a birthday package of Sugar Sweet Sunshine cupcakes to ensure that he will continue to be "the skinny one." Love you Mike, my handsome habibi friend and neighbor.

The category is butch outer borough realness, as purported by Joey A.

Mark and I had high hopes of putting out a line of tank tops for the impending summer season but will have to resort to wearing our premade Nike collection until 2013 rolls around.

Frank, Evan and Kevin (from left), rejoicing in the house music set I somehow got myself started on for my set that night, which nicely contrasted to Alex and Michael's later set of pop music insanity a la Cheryl Cole and Alexis Jordan.

Thomas (left) and our barback Rob, two of the prettiest girls I know.

The Duchess of Pork, aka Alex, took the decks around midnight after we fed him a few birthday shots and introduced him to the newest members of our Bearded Mafia.

The boys! Adrian (left, with Mikey and Princess Michael of Cunt) was also in town from London to oversee the Frieze art fair, which now happens in New York once a year on the lovely Randall's Island which I only ever visited for Lollapalooza back in the day.

Santi popped in to give me a big birthday squeeze and to kiki about the Courtney Love art opening, which he attended the following day (Courtney was a no show but Santi said some crazy lady was displaying Courtney's left behind belongings from a storage space ON THE SIDEWALK).

Erickatoure (left) and Mikey L. pretty much partied with us from the early evening to the early early morning and we couldn't ask for anything more. In the immortal words of Stephanie Stone: Thank you! Thank you! Uh huh, thank you for being a friend!"

Going in for the kill.


That moment in the night when everyone's eyes start to look a little glossy but in a really good way.

Insert impassioned Latin lover one-liner here.

And speaking of impassioned Latin lovers, I was overjoyed that my Cuban boo Armando (left, with Jonathan) come out to dance, sing and shout happy birthday to me and Alex from every corner of the Bloc that is Eastern.

Private eyes are watching you!

Jamal (right, not to be confused with Jamil, aka Jamil La'Beija, who showed face later in the evening) just finished up another semester at law school and has set up camp here in New York City for the summer. Hoping for lots more of his handsome face at future Good Times to come.

Jake (right) and Joey spent some time canoodling in this corner before making a stealth exit, perhaps for a private showing of Jake's lesser exposed tattoos.

My number one Polly Pocket posse Steven (left) and Paolo, getting down to The Duchess of Pork's soundtrack, which may or may not have hit peak Show Me Love status by this point in the night.

She's going loca loca loca, Shakira style!

Zum Geburtstag viel Glück! Zum Geburtstag viel Glück! Zum Geburtstag liebe Alexander Duchess of Pork Karotschhhhhhhh.........Zum Geburtstag viel Glück!

Alex and Alex dated once upon a time yet they still bicker like an old married couple and that is why we love them so.

I know I already posted a photo of these two on the right who are shaping up to be my favorite strangers of the night (with constipated friend. Yussssss!) but hello! She's wearing a fucking Gravy Train tshirt!

You can pet the animals all you'd like but once you begin feeding them, we can no longer be responsible for subsequent actions and behaviors. Now enjoy Good Times at Eastern Bloc.

If you've ever wondered what Black Party kingpin Steven Pevner does the other 364 nights of the year, we now have answer for one of those evening:he rubs elbows with the young, the restless and the Taurean birthday boys.

Please take note: this is Kevin C. (right, with Paolo), who has been mistaken for our boy Mark Spalding all week long. If you see a big beard, denim coat and sexy face, please look twice before disclosing your deepest, darkest secrets to a potential lookalike.

I was really routing for an Elizabeth Berkley Showgirls lez moment right about now but I don't think anything like that actually happened.

From right: Frankie, Joey (sans eyebrows) and a gorgeous death metal chick who is giving you the only arm-on-hip pose that matters these days.

Hey boys! Hope you're gonna come back next week (May 9) cuz we have the return of DJ Apt One from Philly who loves his turntables almost as much as he loves his disco dance funk, which got everyone up and moving when he came for a DJ visit last year. Just you wait and see.

My tie-dyed denim shorts were not as apparent in the red glow of Good Times but will be making waves this summer nonetheless.

Steph Stone was a no show at this year's celebrations (boooooooo!!!!!!!) but Charles was out for a hot minute (second from right) to wish Alex and I all the best before he revokes our passports and bans us from leaving the country any time in the near future.

Given our continental divide, it is a rare opportunity that all my sisters and me can get together for a night out like last Wednesday's and for that I say, "thank you! thank you! uh huh, thank you, thank you."

By the looks of Eric's shoulder pads, this is when the skies opened up and god said, "SURPRISE! LET'S GET SOAKING WET! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SPARBER AND PORKY!"

And then the fun really began. Cue: a friend wheeling Michael T.'s music luggage to the DJ booth and me exclaiming, "MICHAEL T. IS IN THE HOUSE?!!?!??!?"

I smell and Dirtbox New York edition in the very near future.

Giving us a moment of Vogue Evolution.

Though it's a few weeks away, our upcoming guest DJs include two men I very much respect and am EXTREMELY excited to host: Alex from Tokyo (May 23) and a super secret London disco DJ that will make you gag for it on May 30th. And the always awesome Jeff Chatterton will be DJing all night May 16 while I'm gone in Hellasia aka Los Angeles.

Me, Eric (left) and Mom, who looks all disgruntled but was actually in the best of moods, especially when I tried explaining DJ on DJ hookups as "DJ Ky Ky" and Michael T. thought I was talking about a DJ who went by the moniker DJ Ky Ky.

As Princess Superstar once sang, I'm feelin' wet wet wet.

DJ booth SHOWS.

Pretending like this is Walk Like an Egyptian, when in reality I know it was Kylie's Minogues Put Your Hands Up If You Feel the Love toniiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Bathroom line SHOWS!

Ambidextrous texting on two phones at the same time, because homeboy is keeping it real! (I hope he is simultaneously on Grindr and Scruff.)

Mark and Marko sitting in a tree...or standing on stage at Eastern Bloc. Same difference.

Ericka is super flexible, example 1.

Ericka is super flexible, example 2.

Ericka is super flexible, example 3, which is getting a major side eye from Mother T.

And now, for the REAL shows.

The late night shows.

The shows that had the remaining 10 - 15 people in the bar at 4am literally gagging in the truest sense of the word.

Ericka even worked the broom into her show to sweep away Jamil but in the end, it was all love and hugs and maybe the happiest birthday ever. Thanks again to all who came. See you next week for Philly Disco Good Times with me and DJ Apt One. xo

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I just love your commentary.