Twerking Hard in the East Village: GOOD TIMES: MA-RYAN CAREY'S BIRTHDAY OF BUTTERFLIES

In my good friend Ryan's sweetest of fantasies, he is flanked by Mariah Carey and Da Brat who are singing ballads to him between conversations with him about the work of his favorite music producers. In his second sweetest fantasy, he is celebrating his 23rd birthday at a Mariah Carey-themed Good Times party at Eastern Bloc, which we helped make happen with the aid of guest DJ Gant Johnson and a performance by heartbreaker Keisha Aviance.

I used to think the cutie on the left, Tim, was a doppelganger for birthday boy Ryan. Now I've realized they both just have thick eyebrows.

Rainblo (left) and Tek Shur in their very own pomade advertisement.

Lezzie action a la Mimi and Da Brat. You KNOW Mimi and Da Brat were bumping pocketbooks during the entire filming of Glitter, the best film ever made.

Bears I'm Jealous Of dot com much?

Gerardo (left) was in rare form on Wednesday, and I'm not just talking about his sprawled out pole position in this here pic, as you will see in a little while once the open vodka bar at 11 has set in.

Doesn't Harriet just look and feel like a Million Dollar Bill? She had just brought down the house at one of her comedy shows earlier in the night and was fiending...

...for McDonalds!

I so spooked Joe at the Eagle this past Saturday, where some dude told my friends to "go back to Avenue A." SNAP! But we did.

I thank god that I found you and you and you and you, Ru, Kevin, Kevin and Mike (from left).

Whoever that dude is on the right hugging Eastern Bloc's Thursday night resident Bob (left), he is pretty much the definition of heart stopper. Or heart breaker.

CHARMBRACELT TOUR TSHIRT REALNESS! Courtesy of Luke K.

Miss Stephanie Stone (left) decided to forgo her planned performance the day before the party but that didn't stop her from giving a fierce, Amazonian Asian look and killer hair to boot.

Loverboys.

How fun it has been to watch Charlie (right) morph from a man who milks sugar daddies to a milky sugar daddy himself.

Rubbing the buddha's head for good luck aka lots of action.

This one on the left had the most Mariah requests of the night. It's hard to say no to Mariah requests on Mariah night unless that request is I Wanna Know What Love Is.

Doesn't this look like some band photo? I can just tell that their songs would really rock but they'd be like, dance rock and we'd all be singing them at 1am every Wednesday. Maybe they should run with that idea.

Me and our star performer, KEISHA AVIANCE! Not only did Keisha turn it out with her performance but she'll be back next week to host our annual gay jew Purim party since Keisha is really a black jewess who can sing songs in hebrew. Ask her!

Belly shirt alert! I swear this will be a trend by summertime if a few more crop top pop up on this here blog.

Remember when Jeff and Hunter made a "movie" together and you could rent it at Two Boots Video? Birthday boy Ryan used to work there and might have viewed it on occassion.

This one in the middle is about to H.A.T.E.U. right now, and by U., I mean the friends making him look all Weekend At Bernie's in this pic .

My long lost jew brother Shane (left), who best be dressed as a fashionista King Achashverosh at the Purim costume party. I also hope promoter Akash comes dressed as Akash-verosh too.

The man behind every New York nightlife picture and maybe my favorite nightlife person ever, Jeff E. (left), gagging over Steph's weave. Check out his pics of this party here.

Andre (right, with Evans) quit facebook AND his mobile phone this week but you can still contact him by showing up at any East Village gay bar between the hours of 9pm and 2am.

Your Mariah mixmasters for the evening, Gant Johnson (right) and yours truly. Gant took eight of the photos you see before you. Can you guess which ones they are? (hint: look for the swirly lights.)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYAN MCNALLY! It seems like yesterday when I was renting VHS tapes from you at Two Boots but it was really 10 years ago, which means you're actually 33.

The flat-brim boys' macho facade quickly melts away once a Mariah tune comes on. And since we played Mariah for a majority of the night, things quickly changed from top to bottom.

The sexiest ginger beard in all the land.

A quick power nap in the corner, as inspired by Keisha Aviance.

Ladies and gentleman, Ms. Keisha Aviance and her rendition of Emotions!

And boy did she make it happen.

Ricky, have a break-break-down over Luke's Charmbracelet tee.

No idea who the hotness is that Adrian (right) snagged but surely there was a fire of supernova proportions wherever these two ended up.

Muscletranny drag godmothers Delila (left) and Courtney (center) came out to cheer their favorite lady. And speaking of favorites, JIGGLY CALIENTE IS PEFORMING AT OUR ST. PADDYS DAY BEYONCE NIGHT in two weeks!

We call him Venus Flytrap.

Requisite twerking pose from Xander, weird pole dancing pose going on behind us.

Number one Mariah Carey fan Darren.

Giving the pole a rest from his hard working red pants...

...before quickly snapping back into action.

Brian (left) recently referred to my blog as the OK Magazine of gay New York City nightlife, though it wasn't quite a compliment. Still, I like to think of us at the US Weekly.

HAPPY ALMOST BIRTHDAY BLACK EDDIE! I will be sure to 31 middle fingers by this Sunday.

Lost models left over from fashion week. Please help.

Didn't I tell you Gerardo would spice things up?

Andy (left) picked up this Australian young'un at the Cock Tuesday night and proudly paraded him around town Wednesday before breaking his heart on Thursday and getting back to his old tricks (literally) on Friday.