DO YOU WANT IT RIGHT NOW?

A lesson on wanting it right now, spanning 22 years.

Siedah Garrett - Do You Want It Right Now
Degrees of Motion - Do You Want It Right Now
Taylor Dayne - Do You Want It Right Now
Armand Van Helden - I Want Your Soul


Armand, still the hottest as he turns 40 in 2010. Happy New Year from Twerking.

GOOD TIMES: ACID HOUSE HOLIDAY EDITION

Let's just call last Wednesday's Good Times party at Eastern Bloc the East Village reinvention of the Hacienda, since DJ Will and I gave acid house and warehouse rave beats that took tourists and locals who stuck around for the holidays to a higher state of consciousness.


Scott, Danny and friend (from right) opted away from traditional acid house neons and smileys in favor of a black and gray palette to match the below-freezing weather we've been having.


Taking a break 4 love.


Happy hour started very early for these three.


Steven (right) brought out his Brit Spider Man-clad friend, who insisted I return to Dalston Superstore and other London venues in 2010. You know, right after I tour France, Spain and Italy.


Jamie (right) says: Tonight it's party time, it's party time tonight.


Experiencing a major energy flash.


Sammy (left) is still substitute bartending for us at Good Times while Darren is befriending every pet shop bear in Berlin until early January.


When I started my set with Frankie Knuckles' Your Love, it inspired all kinds of naughtiness.


For some reason, Kelvin took 200 photos of Evans this week (center) and zero pictures of our awesome guest DJ, Will, who is equally as cute and charming as Evans. Sorry Will!


Naughty gingers need love too.


So due to the holidays, we weren't as packed out as usual but Eddie, Troy and friend can attest that the acid house jams were fieeeeeeeeerce. Every night might need to be acid house night in 2010.


Master of ceremonies (right) and a Santa Gant Man over in coat check, which is only slightly offensive to my jewish sensibilities.


Answering Todd Terry's eternal dancing music question: can u party? Yes we can.


Yes she is totally wearing a Holiday Inn tshirt and I am loving it.


Hello my fine grizzly man friend. Now is as good a time as ever to let you know that the next Good Times will be our Cher Bear Extravaganza (with Jimmy Im), perfectly tied to the holiday week where we kiss 2009 goodbye and say hello to 2010 in half breed style.


Chip (second from right) abandoned New York City in 2009 but is fixing up his comfy new home for 2010 in the gorgeous city of Baltimore.


Everyone loves a winter break from classes.


That houndstooth-draped dame is everything and then some. Actually, is that Pam Ann?


Baby wants to ride...


...baby rides for love.


The return of Aly (right) and Dino. Like the dinosaur.


Obviously wanted to avoid being in the picture but still wanted to show off that lovely watch he's wearing on his wrist.


I believe he was tripping into that Pacific State created by 808 State when this pic was taken. FYI - Eastern Bloc no longer uses those drink tickets you've been saving that match the wallpaper. Sorry!


What a pleasant surprise to see Marcell (right) out on a Wednesday night. We hear Marcell has set foot in la casa de Mariah Carey for a few styling jobs.


Jeff (center) and friends, all smiley to hear DJ will bring down the house with Gala's Freed From Desire.


While some of us will be counting down until the ball drops in Times Square this New Years Eve, others will be counting down until Kevin (right) shaves that big ol' lumberjack beard of his, which is due to be clipped any day.


Andre (left) and Luke, deep in vogue.


Scot, Evans and Charles as the father, son and holy ghost, respectively. And when I say holy ghost, I mean the holy ghost who haunts the Yves Saint Laurent retail store morning noon and night, since Charles NEVER gets a break.


Flex 'em if you got 'em Matt!


Jaeger bombs at the bar, courtesy of John the Vampire, aka JTV, always a refreshing face to see when you're well on your way to blacking out and its only 2am.


Cast shot for our upcoming Good Times gang bang porn. Adrian (second from left) and Darren (center) are still duking it out for the lead.


Now rehearsing for the role of fluffer as well.


Another year goes by and the gorgeousness that is Linda Simpson just keeps getting younger and younger. How does she do it?! It's like she's the East Village's answer to Benjamin Button.


Matt, reenacting the great J4 Good Times television disaster of '09.


Buddy (center) and buddies, having big fun at another successful Good Time.


If you don't wear a mesh purple top to next week's Cher Bear Extravaganza (or Cher's outfit from the If I Could Turn Back Time) video, we're calling this party quits! Bonus points for bears dressed AS Cher. See you there!

GOD HATES GAGA

Courtesy of the Phelps clan.

OMG TO THE NICK CANNON/MARIAH CAREY XMAS CARD

ALL CHIMPS GO TO HEAVEN

Of the many losses suffered in 2009, Twerking is most captivated by that of Travis the Chimp, eulogized in the New York Times' Sunday Magazine this week. R.I.P. Travis. An except:

By all accounts, the perpetrator lived in louche splendor: filet mignon, lobster tails, Lindt chocolate, ice cream, a glass of wine in the evening. He was bathed by hand in the tub. He did as he pleased. Without a license, he drove the Corvette down the long driveway, out over nearby roads and back. He drew pictures: abstract, colorful scribblings that hung on the refrigerator and seemed to mean something to him when, in the vein of a tortured artist, he took them down for re-examination. When not drawing or playing with his stuffed animals and trapeze bar, he might surf the Web or grab the remote, sink into the couch and flip channels until finding a baseball game. (His team: whoever was on.) He enjoyed cleaning his teeth with a Waterpik.

For the full article, click HERE.

I GOT THE BUTCH BEAT UNSTOPPABLE

Ab Soto is progressively getting cuter and his music and videos are progressively getting better. Behold the butch beat.

GOOD TIMES: BEST HANUKKAH HAIRY OF THE DECADE

Hanukkah Hairy, our annual gelt-y pleasure at Wednesday's Good Times at Eastern Bloc, went off last week like a yarmulke on a baldie.


What better way to start a party than with none other than Sarah Palin! Sarah loves gay jews almost as much as she loves her little grandson's baby daddy's Playgirl shoot.


Palin was actually on premises thanks to Playgirl publicity monster Daniel Nardicio (center, with Ben and Adam). Daniel also asks: Are you spending at least 20 minutes a day doing what you love to do? I know I sure am, and it's called eBay.


Robert (left) and a friend wearing jewish star rosary beads, undoubtedly invented by Jews for Jesus.


DJ Adam's roommate (left) was kind enough to not only bring a menorah gift for us but a real live rabbi friend! (right), who blessed our festivities and made us all the more "legit."


Did I mention that there were hot guys in every corner of the bar?


Southerners like JR (center) and friends just love to get in on our jew parties because they don't have these kinds of things down in North Carolina, where jews have horns and a tail.


Spreading the holiday love (and H1N1).


HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRETTY BOOTH (right, with Steven)! It seems like only yesterday when you were a mustache-less twink and now you're bringing all the boys to the yard.


Three of my eight Hanukkah gifts to you this year.


I'm keeping gift number four on the right for myself this year.


I really miss the brilliance of the Fifth Wheel. Long live Aisha Tyler.


Balls to the walls (and ceiling) during one of my many Hanukkah klezmer interludes.


A harnessed-up Brian (right) was nothing but compliments about my recent mixtape and our Hanukkah Hairy party, which even garnered coverage on Brian's blog, Fierth.


Parker with a toilet lid halo (center) and Benji (right) who always has an emergency yarmulke stashed in his pocket.


This holiday season, it is all about Kiehls' bear daddy Chris (left, with Demetre and friend) and his snowflake sweater.


HOT GUYS IN EVERY CORNER, another miracle of Hanukkah.


The party wouldn't be complete without a Sarah Silverman-esque jewess.


MENORAH PHOTO SHOOT TIME! In front of the "sweet jesus" sign no less, cuz Jesus was a jew who would have loved getting buckwild with us on any given Wednesday.


Ryan, giving the Menorah a good lick. Or mistaking it for a hot bearded guy and trying to make out with it.


Jewy McJewerson-berg Eric, who helped cohost the festivities and tried to light the menorah by touching to his hot hairy jew bod.


Comedian jewess Harriet Halloway, whose hunger for Judiasm (and pizza) knows no limits.


HAPPY HANUKKAH HEEBS! Love Sparber and Ladyfag.


Not only do jews run Hollywood and control all the money in the world, they also have a fair share in gay New York nightlife as exemplified by this here pic (and the existence of DJ Nita Aviance). PS - 100 NOSES OF BARBARA STREISAND POSTER REALNESS!


And if you couldn't wait to rip your coat and clothes off for Hanukkah Hairy, hold out till next week's Good Times when me and DJ Will give you acid house and warehouse rave jams all night long.


Scotty (right, with Kevin) was happy once I made a microphone announcement to deliver him some Manischewitz STAT.


I wonder if they make beer bottles with foreskin if you wanna practice your skill set in non-jewy parts of the world.


Lady and John John paired up for their festive Hanukkah coloring, which is traditionally royal blue and white. Sequins never hurt either.


Earl prefers just the tip.


Too distracted to even notice the menorah in this pic.


Menorah, magnetized by her incredibly strong jew curls (also known in greater volumes as a jew fro).


Jewban host Kevin (right) and Keisha, who claimed to be 1/4 jewish as well as Jewish by injection. She can also sing in Hebrew on command. She was also mistaken for Connie Girl that night, which she says happens quite often.


Michael (left) says menorahs are like, totally the new disco stick. Suck on that Lady Gag-guh.


Scott (left) and friend, doing an impression of the shamash or the "helper candle," the candle used to light all the other candles.


And yet I can't help loving the lime green floral dress print behind them. Gay!


Put your hands up for Manischewitz, our lovely sweetie!


Ma black jew posse, representing.


This pic doesn't really do justice to how bumpin' we were from like, 1030 till the lights came on at 4am and I played Barbara Streisand's Happy Days Are Here Again.


We now hire Kevin (right, with Tai) to get that authentic hassidic look going at our parties.


Shane (center) and Ryan (left) and as you can tell by the camera, this is when things started to get blurry.


Two live jews, smooching to the sounds of Kissy Elliott.


The Kevin and Evans album cover in the making.


I am not sure what possessed Damian in this here pic...


...nor am I sure what possessed Damian to pose like this for this here pic. But has makeshift pussy is pretty damn amazing.


Oooh baby it's cold outside.


My good friends are all I could ask for for Hanukkah OR Christmas. That and a big, fat Italian xmas day feast courtesy of Michael M. (second from left).


"Three more shots of Jaeger please."


Giving you lone hipster effect, which usually works real well at Metropolitan but can be a risky affair here at Eastern Bloc.


I take that back. I think the lone hipster thing works for Good Times just fine .


Gagging over Cunty Crawford Ladosha's homemade bondage-inspired formal wear.


It isn't a late night affair until James Coppola (left) rolls through your spot.


Suck and blow will never be the same now that Brittany Murphy has left this earth. RIP Brit.


I'm feeling a Separated at Birth in the East Village coming on between Darren (left) and William.


Shaquanda already has her dancing boots on for Acid House night! Next week, Shaquanda. You can't sleep in the bar .


HAPPY HAIRY HANUKKAH EVERYBODY! NEXT YEAR IN JERUSALEM! Just kidding. Next year at Eastern Bloc, obvs.