GOOD TIMES: SMELL YO DICK

The long lost gay bar episode of Miss Rap Supreme took place at our Wednesday Good Times party at Eastern Bloc last week, where we cranked up the Khia and Riskay tracks so folks could twerk it out on the dancefloor.


Soul sister Scott J. dropped by early on for a cold beer and some hot crunk music. Scott is helping me rediscover the soul and disco roller rink days I never knew.


Miss Andre (right) has been having a welcome back to New York party for nearly two weeks now and is flat out broke. And no, you can't have a free shot if you WEAR an Israeli shirt. You have to BRING an Israeli. And a hot one.


Obviously these dudes were loving Khia's new track, "Put That Pussy on his Ass." How could you not?


Plaid yogi leg contortionist realness!


Baby C (left) waltzed in during my Remy Ma mini-set and demanded that I throw down with a little dancehall so he and Andre could get their dutty wine on. ATTITUDE, GYAL!


Growing up Gotti goes gay!


Maybe this amazingness went down while I was playing that song that repeats, "Get up on it and ride that thing," over and over. Best explanation I can think of.


Paul, Sampson and Ryan (from left) hadn't been out and about for a hot minute but are suddently back on the club scene in full force. Maybe its Ryan handsome new 'do.


Speaking of 'dos, Gino ditched last week's blow out and is back to his wild curls, which suits his wild persona just perfectly.


And then a time portal opened up and these two stepped into the bar.


Phil (left) and David, begging the question of why you comin' home, five in the morn', somethings goin' on can they smell yo' dick?


Sexy Michael was all tricked out in magic marker, laying on the floor and apparently making out with his lady friends. I'll have what he's having thanks.


Khia's new tracklist could caption all of these photos but I don't know which ones to choose, especially for this photo. A) Get It and Go, B) Be Your Lady or C) Shit on Me. For full track list, click here.


Lindsay Lohan wasn't in town this week so we settled local A-Lister Alan Cumming (left), who is always a delight to see, even if his hand gestures can be interpretted as offensive in his home country of the United Kingdom.


Thank the high heavens that Valdez (center) now insists on hearing Cut Copy instead of Britney Spears. Oh, and I'm officially over the grey-and-white striped American Apparel v-necks.


What a pretty little pageant of snow queens! From left: Chris, Kelvin and Matt the Baker, getting the finger by an anonymous attendee.


Hi Jamal (left). Who is this handsome stranger you're holding on to and where did he get such nice cheek bones?


CHEESEBURGERS IN PARADISE!


The East Village's gay boy band answer to the Jonas Brothers. You know a Good Times visit from Mylie Cyrus is just around the corner.


His neck (left), his back (center) his pussy AND his crack (right).


In case you missed Twin Cheeks this (and every) Monday at the Cock, I spent most of the night throwing down with Charles (center), who sang along to Deee Lite's Good Beat with me and contemplated performing a Riskay song in drag! Fantasy much?!


Clockwise from top left: Ryan, Danart, Anddy and Gary, who jumps for joy at the drop of an Expose song and is pretty much at the Point of No Return in this here pic.


Stephen V.'s boyish good looks (right) can only be overshadowed by a hot papi, who happened to be seated right next to.


People of the (eastern bloc) world, join hands, start a love train.


GAYSIAN GOOD TIMES GANG WAR REALNESS!


Marlon, Santi and friend, representing the 315. Dade county, get at me!


Matt (left) helped co-DJ Jimmy finish up his set after a stray Vicodin or Xanax may have found its way into Jimmy's pockets. Or tummy. See you next week!

Oh yeah, and Jimmy is away in Hawaii so its all me, all night next time. Be there or be lame.

OFF TO THE PROVINCES

I'm off to Boston and Provincetown tomorrow for a brief New England getaway. Fear not - I'll be back Monday night for more Twin Cheeks at the Cock, unless someone decides to stab, behead and eat me on the Fung Wah bus. Just kidding. That happened on a Greyhound, though Matt the Baker is totally scared it's going to happen to him too. Read the story here.

AUGUST TOP 10

I think I skipped a month with this top playlist thing so here's 10 to make up for it. It's a mix of new and old because I haven't been hearing much new stuff that I whole-heartedly believe in. Recommendations are always appreciated.

1. Emotional R (Edit) - In Flagranti
2. Whammy Kiss (mbc mix) - B-52's
3. Pussycat Meow (The Meow Mix) - Deee Lite
4. My Love Is Better - Annie
5. Back It Up - Feadz
6. Kamphopo - Esau Mwamwaya
7. Spin Spin Sugar (Armand Van Helden Garage Mix) - Sneaker Pimps
8. La Bruja - Escandalo
9. You Think You're a Man - the Vaselines
10. Lindsay Lohan - Bossy

BEST NEWS STORY YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED THIS WEEKEND

In case you were distracted by the deaths of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes (R.I.P.) this weekend or possibly Russia's invasion and obliteration of Georgia, you may have missed the case of Joyce McKinney. Joyce made headlines last week for shelling out $50,000 to South Korean dog cloners, who delivered five replicated of her late and beloved pit bull, Booger. It also came to light that Joyce was once known as Bernann McKinney, a former Miss Wyoming pageant winner who stalked her Mormon lover all the way to England, where she kidnapped him at gunpoint, handcuffed him to a bed (with mink-trimmed cuffs) and forced him to have sex with her for three days. While standing trial, she donned a red wig and disguised herself as a member of a mime troupe, fleeing the country while out on bail and turning up five weeks later in Atlanta dressed as a nun. Long live Joyce Bernann McKinney.

GOOD TIMES: GRAB IT LIKE YOU WANT IT

Showdown of the century! At last Wednesday's Good Times party at Eastern Bloc, 80s LA-based girl rappers J.J. Fad squared off against Miami's L'Trimm on our superb system so see who could grab it and push it and spell out Superstonic and Tigra and Bunny the best.


Hunky barman Greg (left, with artsy french friends) resurfaced after a long absence in my life when he left Sundays at the Cock ages ago. Oh how I missed those smelly armits.


If every Manhunt man looked like this chiseled and crispy is real life, I'd contemplate rejoining.


Okinawa over here was totally flipping through Next in search of another Wednesday night party, forgetting that Good Times was nominated for an HX Award. Uh huh that's right.


Panama Jack, now making bar visits to protect you from the sun.


Very skinny boys who wear very big headphones as very fashionable accessories.


Greg Endries' (left) and Christian's hands are like a magnets to my hairy chest (not pictured).


"The P is for Perfection AND YOU KNOW THAT WE ARE FREAKS!"


I'll admit that his hat is growing on me, but it would have been even better if he did in fact dole out free suntan lotion.


GINGER WARNING. I feel like the one on the left could go ginger at any given moment.


Bye Ghyles (center)! I hope you had fun in New York and arrived back in France safely. We never really spoke but that's okay because you are French and stand-offish by nature.


Beardless buds drinkin' brewskis.


The one on the left is a total cutie pie, the apple of my eye as the L'Trimm song goes, uploaded especially for you. Download it here.


Sexy cleaveagefest going on right beside Buddy.


Ned (left) was all sorts of frisky Wednesday night. Maybe it was a full moon or something becasue Kelvin also failed to photograph him as well as Frank de Jesus, who celebrated his birthday with us. HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRANK!


Toasting the fact that co-DJ Jimmy didn't play his Rick Astley baltimore remix of Never Gonna Give You Up last week. Or Billy Joel's We Didn't Start the Fire.


Ryan (left) has been pretty much partied out lately and is going into an early retirement at his ripe age of 21.


Justin (right) has set sail to travel the world he so often edited articles about in the Out Traveler. We will miss him greatly and look forward to a huge welcome home party for him in October.


Shahar (second from left, with friends) is part of our Good Times Israeli outreach program. Bring a hot Israeli to our party and Jimmy or I will do a Jaeger shot with you and him. (Only works if you bring an Israeli dude. Sorry ladies.)


Raise your hand if you're ready for a Khia and Riskay party next week!


This handsomeness is named Marek. He was in town from Toronto heard Good Times was the bomb diggity. I was going to chat with him more but he took to the crowds and was hopefully swept away by an American nightlife "tour guide."


Let's hear it for the boys: (from right) Kurt, Michael D., Michael M., Matt and some dude whose name probably starts with an M too but wasn't even posing for this picture.


Yikes. Stripes. Fruit-striped gum.


Drew (left) and a small smattering of Frank's fashion posse that were not in ANY of this week's pictures. I'm looking at you Mr. Langbein, and I expect a hello next time.


AJ, Simon and Michael (from left), who can do no wrong in my book. In fact, all three can do right by wearing lower cut shirts next time, which would be pretty damn low in Simon's case.


The ageless and flawless Gino T. (left), showing off his newly blown-out 'do.


You know he's singing Mariah Carey's Fantasy in his head when this pic was taken.


Me, Davey and my newest ebay purchase, which was actually packaged and sold like that by Nike. No scissors necessary.


Jimmy (left) and James, staring into the nothingness that happens after 4am in the East Village. Unless you head to the Bijou, which these two may or may not have ended up. See you next week!

TWIN CHEEKS AT TWIN CHEEKS

I know I've said what happens at the Cock stays at the Cock, but since you're always needing a good reason to go out on a Monday night anyway, here's some enticement to reel you over to my Monday Twin Cheeks party at the Cock.

Go go cheeks!


Spanish cheeks!

Twin cheeks!

Hipster cheeks!

Fuzzy cheeks!

Pale cheeks!

Afro-cheeks!

And good ol' easy squeezy bubble butt cheeks. See you next Monday.

FRIDAY JERSEY SHORE AMAZINGNESS

In a week filled with Long Island hijinx (Little Neck tomorrow, heyyyyyy!), it always nice to remember our neighbors over in Jersey. Wait for the climax at the 5:50. (Courtesy of DListed.)