Back from Brazil

Last week, I traveled south of the equator to visit Salvador, Brazil's third largest city. I'll be posting some pictures later on in the week but for now, I give you with The Bottle Dance, a late 90s dance craze that swept through Brazil. Apparently, they played videos like this in the middle of the afternoon. Even my friend's 83-year-old grandma did the bottle dance for me when I mentioned it. I'm thinking of repopularizing it in New York:

BIGOT OF THE WEEK: NAOMI CAMPBELL

Naomi Campbell made another court appearance this morning defending herself against charges that she threw a cell phone at her maid. Here's a choice NY Times quote:

Ms. Gibson, who worked for Ms. Campbell from November 2005 to last January, described her former boss as a “violent super-bigot.” She said in her lawsuit that Ms. Campbell had made discriminatory comments like, “Romanians are not usually as dumb as you?”

I WANT YOUR SAKS

I got a call Friday evening to DJ at Saks Fifth Avenue on Saturday afternoon. I had never actually been inside Saks before but I found my way to the 5th floor (contemporary women's clothes) to play a five-hour set.

When I showed up, I asked where to go and they pointed to this DJ console smack in the middle of the main walkway and that was it. No music directions, no volume regulations, nothing. So naturally, I threw on Peaches' Fuck the Pain Away. Just kidding.


Rachel came by to visit right when I started. I thought she was with a friend but it turns out that she babysits for that girl. I couldn't exactly talk because I was like, working or something but she was like, "Crank it up!" and so the music got louder.


Nobody really spoke to me for the five hours I stood there which was sort of strange. Some customers requested Nelly Furtado or Dru Hill (???) but that's about it. Oh, and EVERY Saks salesperson is gay and loves when you play Mariah Carey. One guy even said to me, "my customers lovvvvvve Mariah Carey so play lots of her." Your customers?


Oh, and next time I DJ at a corporate space or event, I am not wearing this shirt. I think 20 people asked me if I was Canadian or smiled and said, "I love Canada too!" I was like, ummmmmm...fuck the pain away.

NOW PLAYING: ANYTHING REMIXED BY SEBASTIAN

I'm not the biggest Rapture fan in the world. I wasn't so into House of Jealous Lovers and so I never checked out the rest of their debut album. Then when the new one came out, I dug "Get Myself Into It" but never bothered to check out the rest of that album either. I know. I'm like, the only person in New York not feeling them. Boo hoo.

Enter Sebastian, DJ extrodinaire hailing from France who works wonders with his thunderous blasts of electronic noise followed by clever silences that, when strung together, create the most seductive of beats. Here's his mix of The Rapture's Get Myself Into It.

I USED TO BE OBSESSED WITH YODELS

Sometimes I have no idea what to write about. Since I showed this video to two people in the past 24hrs, I figured it'd be THE thing to share. It's the new Gwen Stefani video "Wind It Up" from her upcoming album.



Yeah, it's annoying. Yeah, Jewel brought that whole yodelling thing to the mainstream 10 years ago, but I kind of think the beat is hot and Jacques Lu Cont or Richard X or Sebastian could do remix wonders with this.

P.S. - I saw Jewel yodel in concert, but only because she was opening for Neil Young along with the Afghan Whigs. And yes, I wore flannel to the concert.

TEMPTATION

The hoodie obsession continues. Which do you like better? I nearly bought the Nike windbreaker this afternoon but then asked myself, "When in the world would I wear a windbreaker?"

SUGAR DADDY'S

This weekend, I worked at the yummiest bakery ever, Tompkins Square Bakery. For all of my stalkers: Tompkins is located on 10th st. between Avenues A and B. When I work there, people always ask how late we stay open and what time we open in the mornings. I don't actually know what time Tompkins Square Bakery opens because I've never been up that early.


One customer, Bertha, is a heavy-set elderly lady who came in this weekend asking for a slice of cake and a cup of hot water. Bertha likes to bring her own instant coffee mix to the bakery with her so she won't have to pay a dollar for ours. A woman after my own heart.

HALLOWEENERS

I skipped that whole let's-celebrate-Halloween-on-Saturday thing and attempted to go all out on the actual day of the devil, which fell on a Tuesday this year.

First stop was Matt's, who lives next to Plan B, a neighborhood bar. We're friendly with Jordan, the manager, who dressed up as a half-naked Slash. He's single too, ladies.


Anthony was all pissed cuz we were 20 minutes late, meaning he was waiting on the corner dressed as a hasidic jew for a while. His pissy attitude really worked well with his costume though. That's me as Hugh Hefner. Thanks to everyone for not telling me about the baby powder on my forehead.


Our first party stop was our friend Ludo's, who invited mostly french people to his apartment like his friend Orlion (left). Ludo's clown costume was horrifying and I couldn't really look at him the whole night.


Next, we dropped by Nowhere bar and met up with Peter (above). At this point, I was drunk and can only remember someone saying to me, "Can you believe there are THREE Frida Kahlo's here?!!"


The Phoenix was pretty empty and unremarkable. Bartender Jimbo was dressed as an M&M with nuts. I thought that was pretty creative. I guess I've lowered my standards since my days
as Kim Jong Il and Lynndie England.


Of COURSE Jefferson was at the Phoenix playing pool. Otherwise it wouldn't really be the Phoenix now would it? He's Brazilian and doesn't speak to me even though I see him five times a week each and every week. Maybe there's a language barrier there.


Next door at Boysroom, the go-go boys were dressed as prepubescent hookers for hire. Just kidding. Those aren't costumes---that's their every day attire, and by every day, I mean every night when they dance at the Boysroom for dirty, old men.



Rainblo did some rock and roll lip sync something at the Cock. I was too busy talking to Matt or something to notice, but s/he had two back up dancers and gave tupperware filled with confetti to people standing in the front to throw at him/her at the end of his number.


Andy won best costume of the night, in my humble opinion. And he's supposed to be Karen O. from the Yeah Yeah Yeah's, not Frankenfurter, as JR suggested.



East Village Andrew showed up at as a gym coach, but like, one who wears super gay tank tops.


Matt met this really cute Irish steward for British Airways who insisted on walking the streets with an open bottle of beer. I was totally freaking out about this and was like, NOOOOOOOOOOO. You're SOOOOOOO going to get arrested (he didn't).


And Matt often asks how I describe him to other people, to which I always tell him, "out of control." I think this photo, taken at 3:23am, pretty much proves my point.

LOVE IS THE MESSAGE

Courtney Love was in New York yesterday to sign her new book and talk turkey about sobriety on the View. Here's the clip. And she's dating a 20 year old. And her daughter is 14.