MICHAEL JACKSON AUCTION EXHIBIT AWESOMENESS

Michael Jackson's Neverland auction never happened because his majesty changed his mind the day that the two-week auction exhibit opened in LA and bought back all his belongings. Luckily, the exhibit stayed open, which very well may have been this most awesome exhibit ever.


My crotch-grabbing friend Andrew, outside the auction house.


The Neverland Ranch gates, giving you that Welcome to Neverland realness effect.


Michael Jackson loves jewel-encrusted and bedazzled anything.


He also received a bajillion awards and statues and tokens of appreciation from every country in the world for his multi-million selling albums, like this creepy Bad statue.


Some of his costumes are incredible and some I thought I had seen in Long Island thrift stores.


He also owns a lot of royal regalia.


Seeing these costumes in person, I realized that he is TINY. Like, smaller than a size small, though apparently he's 5'10".


His royal highness' throne.


This was one of my favorite auction items in the entire exhibit - the original Edward Scissorhands hands.


More figurines and jewel encrusted belts. The exhibit was divided into three rooms and the main room (everything you've seen so far) was mostly awards, costumes and memoribilia like letters from Ronald and Nancy Reagan and Tom Jones.


The King of Pop's crown.


The second room was all Disney paraphernalia and kiddie-themed items, like Jackon's collection of Shirley Temple photographs.


Jackson also has an incredible collection of well-known figurines and cartoon characters into which he's been been added.


The Tinkerbell collection (Jackson loves Peter Pan, in case you didn't see the Martin Bashir documentary).


Another one of my favorite items, specially made for Jackson from the folks at Disney. This is a larger than life mechanical diorahma of the Pinochicco scene where Pinochicco comes alive, with Jackson inserted into the right hand corner. You push a button and the dolls come to life for 5 minutes!


One of many Jackson-leading-the-children-of-the-world paintings and sculptures.


There were also a bajillion go-karts, bicycles, limos, horse and carriages (minus the horse) and a tour bus complete with bidet.


Oddly, that white piece of paper below the Peter Pan painting was the ONLY notice in the entire exhibit that said no photos please. I think the auction house was secretly bullshit that Jackson bought back his "valubles," though apparently both parties came to a happy agreement.


Upright and larger-than-life light up Mickey carpet.


Embroidered Jackson with Tiny Toons tapestry. Why is Bart Simpson peeking in the window? So not a Tiny Toon.


Creepy Wizard of Oz jack in the boxes.


On the other side of the Disney room was Jackson's home arcade. Total fantasy. He had like, every arcard game / ride / gaming system you could imagine. And lots of wax statues too.


One of those ginormous Weird Science electricity conduction globes.


MICHAEL JACKSON PLAYS DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION! Something we could totally bond over.


More games and rides...


...and games and rides. And a Mighty Morphin Power Ranger.


The third room was the furniture and portrait room (such as this gem above). I didn't take many pics in here cuz most of the stuff was tacky vegas shopping spree goods (see Martin Bashir documentary yet again).


Everyone else who saw the exhibit loved this item the most. It's some realllllllllllly expensive collector thing that Jackson had made with himself leading the children of the world.


Regal Jackson portrait, with Bubbles!


Odd mall poster/painting of mother and baby (up top), with two creepy ginger kid statues below.


This is the image that Julian's auction house used to advertise the exhibit, which pretty much sums it all up.


Walking from memorabilia room to kiddie room to furniture room, I couldn't help but marvel at Jackson's accomplishments (he is truly amazing. Just go and listen to any album he made before 1992) and then feel sad for his lack of a childhood, normal life and taste in furniture.


I didn't take pics of like, 9/10ths of the exhibit. These are just some of the weird tacky items that would have been up for sale. This exhibit really belongs in a museum but probably won't end up there until Jackson passes away or ever.


But I'm glad I got a taste of Neverland Valley and all the weirdness that went on there.


Oh, I also hung at my friend's deluxe suite at the Chateau Marmont in LA, which conveniently comes with mirrored end tables. For sniffing bananas.

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For the full online exhibition catalogue, click here.