Sunday, May 31, 2009

LETTERS FROM BRENDA DICKSON

Soap opera star Brenda Dickson, equally known for starring on the Young and the Restless as well as her glamazon fashion and beauty video Welcome to My Home, apparently spends her days googling around to posts about herself.

A few weeks after posting this genius parody of her video, I received the following email from Ms. Dickson in purple writing:

From: starlightbd@hotmail.com Subject: proscutiable fraud You I believe have notified by my atty. welcome to my home is my vido there is an f.b.i. warning on it. I am reselling i will press crimanal charges aginst you, take it down. there is a $250,000.00 fine

Brenda Dickson


At first, I was like, spam! What's up with Brenda's spelling and grammar? Then I was like, this video is her best shot at publicity since she did Hawaii jail time in 2007 for a civil contempt case brought by her ex-husband. Why wouldn't she love it?

Obviously she needs to talk to youtube and not me about this. But apparently, she has emailed (and faxed) other bloggers about the same issue. Brenda, you are a legend. Own it!






And of course, here's a photo of the stunning modern-day Ms. Dickson at age 60. Au naturel!

BITCH YOU BETTA

New York's immensely talented Jonte's vibrant new video for his myspace banger Bitch You Betta.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

GOOD TIMES: BAD REPUTATION PT. 1

I've been partying till noon in Berlin every day so its been hard to put together sentences, let alone caption photos and blog on time. Therefore, we'll be doing me and Michael T.'s Joan Jett/Runways party from two weeks ago at Good Time at Eastern Bloc in two parts, since it was the ch-ch, ch-ch, ch-ch, ch-ch, cherry BOMB.


Since I'm in Aryan nation at the moment, what better way to kick off this week's photos than with aryan bartender Sam and his handsomely high cheek-boned friends.


Keisha told me I gave her her workout for the week when I turned her out with an 8 minute version of Cher's Take Me Home (the rock 'n' roll didn't start till later).


Then Keisha fell into the laps of two androgynous lady boys and was whisked away into the night.


That 10pm - 11pm slot is kind of my warm-up disco hour, which always gets the happy hour crowd on their feet dancing. Boney M. Happy Song!


Oshy (right) and Saskia in a rare Eastern Bloc appearance to see our friend who was visiting from Buenos Aires. Oshy was still in competitive mode from our Sunset Park bowling game the night before.


Practice makeout session with his mojito.


The kinkiest beard since Katie Holmes.


I can only pray that I was playing Giorgio Moroder at this point in the evening because his songs always inspire me to do the robot as well.


Mikey (right) and his man Garrett, in between talking about cats and knitting and other things that go along with their newfound lesbian lifestyle.


Markus (right) finally scored a working visa and is well on his way to transitioning from Bavarian cream pie to full-fledged American.


Celeste (left) and gang, catching up on their good ol' days at Boston College when James (second from left) used to wear lots more nail polish.


Ken (center) says he was reallllllllllly drunk this night, meaning he probably has no idea who these people are but still tried to get them to hire him for future styling gigs.


Very, very excited for night bird Michael T.'s imminent arrival.


If these armpits could talk.


A major Michael T. fan here on the left, who rocked out till 4am and then on to the after party and I'm sure the after after party, which was held uptown at McDonalds at 630am.


Dude on the left, giving Apple startup realness!


My bubbeleh! My Mahogany! My Jaime Burke (left, with Garry) is leaving us for Provincetown June 1 to October 1, aka FOREVER! Good Time will be on freestyle moratorium until he returns.


And if Jaime's departure weren't bad enough, Sammy Jo (left) is shoving off to Barcelona for the entire summer as well :( On the bright side, I'll be filling for future underwear party DJ gigs, including one this coming Friday, June 5, at midnight in the Pines on Fire Island.


Unenthused by Joan Jett's cover of Crimson and Clover.


A handsome young visitor from Israel named Joel (right), who kept saying my full name over and over and over though I don't think we had ever met before. A twerking fan perhaps?


School's out for summah! Don't forget to bring an ID kids, even if it's chalked (is that still a thing?)


Ken (left), not even noticing that there's a camera at this point. This is just how he stands and poses in general.


Throwing up the satan horns as a true rock 'n' roller in a suit jacket should.


The opposite of Everyday People.


To the one on the right: do you wanna touch me, do you wanna touch me there?


James (left) and Cameron, for whom I played Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah) not once, not twice, but three times in six hours.


Scott (left) and Garrett, showing off his suave new haircut and svelte summer bod.


Evoking One-Half Nelson with a half nelson.


Devin (left) has the best tank tops evs. Steve (center) is just the plain old best evs. And Kyra was in rare form this particular Wednesdays. Let's just leave it at that.


Andrew (right) with yet another handsome stranger who he brought to our Good Times party. Keep 'em coming Andrew!


What? It's midnight and Ms. Michael T. still isn't here yet? Just wait till part two of the pictures, my pretties. She will arrive and she will give shows.


Me (left) and my ladies, cuz we don't give a damn about our bad reputations. TO BE CONTINUED...

Thursday, May 28, 2009

MORE DUBBED OVER YOUTUBE GENIUSNESS

KNIGHTLIFE

I don't know much about this Australian DJ/producer named Knightlife but I do know that I love the promo for his next release.

Friday, May 22, 2009

PINK FANTASY JACUZZI CAR

I've been on a half-hearted search for a jacuzzi-ready limo in New York City. Today, my prayers have been answered by the 2008 BMW Mini Cooper Barbie Edition, with Jacuzzi! Behold!


Who wants to bathe all the way to Atlantic City? Rent it here.

HAVE A HAPPIER MEMORIAL DAY

This weekend I'm kicking of disco brunch in the Garden of Ono at the Hotel Gansvoort, 12 - 6. Brunch plus disco plus me. What more could you want?


This means I can't do my monthly disco spot at Eastern Bloc's Love Hangover, but fear not, as DJs Gant and Darren and disco hostess Linda Simpson will be holding down the fort.

TWO LIVE SETS, TEN YEARS APART

Live concerts don't thrill me as much as they used to. That said, I'm usually up for seeing an artist I have yet to see perform or one who will most certainly turn me out.

Last night, Circlesquare made their long-awaited New York debut at Brooklyn's Studio B, taking the stage around 130am to a somewhat sparsely populated room. The space was too big and too empty for me to feel the full electricity of Circlesquare's music, though lead singer Jeremy's highly mesmerizing voice, complimented by an electronified kick drum and thumpy basslines made the show well worth it.

Circlesquare also screened perfectly synchronizeed projections during each song, most notably of a slowmo mosh pit and then a slowmo adolescent girl fight, which was both eerie and uncomfortable and yet perfectly suited to the music. Though I didn't feel moved to dance, I left feeling entranced by the sounds and videos of earthquakes and tunnels on loop.

I also unearthed a youtube video, probably shot in late '98 or early '99, of a Make Up concert I had attended in DC. The Make Up were quite the opposite of Circlesquare--lively, physically aggressive and a spectacle to behold. Nothing has ever come close to duplicating a Make Up concert except maybe seeing The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, which I hope to do again soon.

More shockingly, I saw myself, 10 years younger, dancing and singing along to the Make Up at 7 minutes and 25 seconds into the video, making me wonder how many Bouncing Souls and Patti Smith and Avail videos exist that I have yet to find. Here's the video (part 1 of 4), where you can pretty much make me out on the left of the frame from 7:25 - 7:40. I had poofy long hair and mutton chops back then.



Circlesquare - Fight Sound pt. 1
The Make Up - Here Comes the Judge

Thursday, May 21, 2009

HAPPY FLEET WEEK, LOVE JOAN JETT


Joan Jett night was a "runaway" success last night. Who knew the baddest bitch was actually in New York City and touring a naval ship in honor of sexy sailor week aka fleet week?

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

GOOD TIMES: I'M. IN. HEAVVVVVEN...

By special request of Eastern Bloc co-owner and bartender Gabriel, I gathered together all the David Morales and Da Brat remixes I could find to do a special Mariah Carey birthday bash for Gabriel's birthday at last week's Good Times.


These ladies were ALL about the Mariah, and when I say ladies, I'm including Andre (center, aka Shaquanda) in that statement. He even dressed as Mariah and did a Mimi tribute later in the week at Mr. Black, so we hear.


These chicks are 4real4real. As in, they're not trannies, or at least I don't think they're trannies.


Eric (right) and Santi are closeted Mariah fans who only let their inner Hello Kitty out on special occassions like this. Eric even texted me his fantasy Mariah request: Fantasy.


Anytime you need a friend! I will, be here.


Apart from the Loverboy on the left, shiny black leather-like coats appear to be all the rage this spring.


Speaking of loverboys, come on and love me, cuz I'm a sugar daddy.


I seriously only played three non-Mariah songs all night, though none of them included 2 Live Crew, as this picture seems to suggest.


With all 200 of the birthdays that we've been celebrating in May, Mathew (left) has yet replicate his salty sweet chocolate cake that so deliciously took me to heaven a few months back.


Getting ready to shake it off (just like a Calgon commercial).


Josh (left) and Wyatt, who's wearing an amazing ape or bonobo tshirt.


Queens can get all in a tizzy about Madonna versus Mariah and who has more number one singles at one time for more albums yada yada yada. They're both as gay as it gets, bo'kay?


Kevin Clamato (bottom left) is always a vision of love, no matter how tan he appears.


All I Want for Christmas is Brian W. (second from right) to come visit New York many more times. And bring Zach S. with you next time.


HEARTBREAKERS!


There are a lot of prints and plaids and fake bowties going on here but it somehow seems to work.


It's like that, y'all. That, y'all...


...it's like It's like that-tha-tha-that, a-like that y'all!


Every boy's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.


Davy and Evans (rights), who apparently has a hard time keeping his eyes open in photos. This is like, the 10th photo Kelvira took of him but the only one where his eyes are half open. Sorry Evans!


Bottoms up.


Wyatt, Kevin and John (clockwise from bottom), who migrated from the train to the club, the bar to VIP (DJ booth) and then back to Brooklyn and New Jersey respectively.


She's ready to rock 'n' roll, Joan Jett, Lita Ford and the Runaways style, which just so happens to be next week's theme. And Michael T. is guest DJing with me!


HAPPY BIRTHDAY GABRIEL! Gabe (left) was as giddy as a 13-year-old girl getting lots of pink presents thanks to the Mariah soundtrack. Meanwhile, Darren (right) and I will be in Berlin as of Tuesday. Get in touch with us!


We belong together.


Touch my body, and by body, I mean adam's apple.


Who knew I had enough Mariah Carey music to last me an entire evening, including her covers of I Didn't Mean to Turn You on (Glitter!) and Against All Odds (weird).


Jimmy (left, with AJ), who popped a piece of gum before he embarked on a little game of tonsil hockey.


A vision of love, front and center!


Something tells me they wandered into the wrong bar but couldn't leave until they finished out Don't Forget About Us.


Get into that halter top vest over the leotard.


I think these chicks partied with us from like, 10 till 4. They also requested Janet Jackson's That's the Way Love Goes, which is somehow missing from my collection. Blasphemy.


Did I mention that Jimmy did his month set this past week AND bought a yummy whole food birthday cake for Gabe? He kept bragging about how it was super fancy cuz it was from whole foods but also super yummy, which it was. Especially at 2am.


No caption necessary.


To the floor.


White tiessssss, goin' through my mind. (Vision dreams of passion.)


Drunk Kyle (left), draping his tongue wherever it may land...


...such as Charles' cheek.


Dior Mondster! It'd be even better if his shirt said Desi Monster.


Tackled by a denim tuxedo.


Loving those tuxedo ruffles on the handsomeness in the center.


Waiting for a hero to come along.


You can really plug any Mariah title or lyric into this here caption because all her titles are kind of the same. Loving You Long Time. Sweetheart. Dreamlover. Take your pick!


Yes. Kids always get freaky to the one and only Fantasy remix featuring the late, great Old Dirty Bastard.


Oh James. If only you could have joined us at Greenhouse the past two Sundays instead of working there on Wednesdays. This Sunday, I'll be bring my disco set to the Garden of Ono at the Hotel Gansvoort for their 12-6 brunch. More, more, more!


Usually respectable folks like this leave by 230am because they have work the following day, which leads me to believe these two are Scandinavian tourists.


For the handsome bearded hooligans, they mostly hang out till 4am and hug it out with mohawk-y, headbanded drunkards.


Someone was on cruise control and it worked.


Big Scot to Danny (left), friend, me in the background and all the Good Times children: You will always be my babies.


Jimmy and friend, searching for that gum Jimmy had had earlier.


Michael T. (left) says see you next week, especially cuz Michael and I will be rocking out to Joan Jett, Lita Ford and the Runaways. Kiss me deadly!