Wednesday, January 20, 2010


In case you never got your education (Uncanny Alliance reference!), Nita and I played teacher in a course called Bitch Tracks 101 at our weekly Wednesday Good Times party two weeks back. The disciples were as eager to uncover the mostly 90s house gems as we were, making the party all in all cun-ty.

You know there ain't gonna be a bitch tracks party without Miss Linish (left) showing up to help us serve. We were hoping for a surprise DJ set or a reprise of The Pussy's Mine but that will have to wait for the next bitch tracks party.

Prepping for their very own bitch track, entitled Eight Eyes.

Old school Junior-heads Scott (left) and Dave, who pretty much exploded when Nita played Get Your Hands Off My Man.

To the dude on the left: get your hands off MY man!

During the first hour, I played all these Spanish bitch tracks for my Miami crew (Daniel, right) a la Tu Chocha a Pesta and Jose & Luis' classic The Queens Spanish.

Dying for Medo (right) to point me in the direction of some Syrian bitch tracks, which I hope to uncover on my upcoming trip to Damascus and Beirut.

WORK IT, GIRLFRIENDS! A special huuuuuuuge shout out to Mr. Franklin Fuentes, bitch track vocalist extraordinaire, who helped me out immensely with this party. He is also looking forward to our next bitch tracks night.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEVIN! (center, with Willy and Michael). If there was ever a song intended for Kevin, I'm pretty sure it would be Bitch You Look Fierce.

My muse and reason for being, Stephanie Stone stopped by to drop a house on us all with the goregous ensemble.

Nita (right) and I are teaming up again this Friday, January 30th where I'll be opening for him with a set of acid and classic house at his Get Up party in the upstairs room at the F Word, now at Rebel (the former Mr. Black space).

Get Huh.

Runway in their (plaid) streetclothes, courtesy of Nita's bitch track side project, La'Mady.

Butch queens up in pumps...

...more butch queens up in pumps.

Meanwhile, outside the bar, someone spotted butch queens voguing like femme queens...


Chazzy poo and Jason Pants, making me wish I was back on the beaches of Vieques.

Brando (left) and friends love to do it behind the curtain, in the bushes, at the bar, in the bathroom.

William (left) and Jon Jon, eagerly awaiting our four-way birthday bonanza Good Times for DJ Jimmy, ex-go go boy Matt Bell, bartender Antoine and tank top manipulator Devin M. That's January 27, y'all. Save room for cake!

I am greatly indebted to the wonderful Michael Magnan (left), who owns and shares literally every bitch track imagineable. She's cunt AND she's pussy.

You betta work, bitches. Now turn to the right, sashay and shante.

Matt don't-call-me-a-bear Baker (left) and self-proclaimed baby bear Paolo.

Why are you gagging? Is it because the reclusive Devin made an appearance (!) or is it simply because Stephanie Stone looks absolutely fabulous?

Me and Ryan (right), reminding you to do as George Morel once sang and moooooove that body! Don't you stop, cuz if you stop, we're gonna throw this bitch out. BITCH GET OUT!

Lovely Lina and Kinky Kelvin. Paging all divas to the dancefloor, pleeeeeease.

Bitch you smell fierce.

Sam (right) and a friend who is ready to put some bass in his walk.

10,000 screaming faggots! (and one goth chick.)

And yes, I'm obsessed with her.

THE LOOK! Xander had the honor of recording the only song, The Look, that I played twice that night. His look is always life-deafening for those children.

Monsieur Reavis, begging you to work this pussy goddammit.

A glammer girl.

I did play some new school bitch tracks too for the younger generation (Kyle and Kevin, left and lefter), including Tobell Von Cartier's Useless and Sophia Lamar's Fake and Shitty Faggot because it's time for you to know that you are all shitty, shitty faggots.

Jing gets a gold star for working a weather-appropriate eskimo hood into his exquisite look. Tens across the board, Jing!

I smell a fight for daddy coming between Hurricane Jason (left) and Reavis.

Out of place Dr. Evil reference, courtesy of Kyle Aviance.


Daddy knows best cuz daddy knows Darren.


Jackie Birdy (right) and friend and Nelson's neon taxidermy-inspired antlers.

Legendary DJ and bitch track producer Johnny Dynell (left, with a newly stateside Sammy Jo!), who gave us Princess Extravaganza's Battlecat track to love and cherish.

The most powerful man in New York City, Mr. Jeffrey Eason (center).

If Madonna calls, disconnect huh! (but don't tell Gabe, right.)

Q: Why are you gagging? A: Cuz its another lovely Ladyfag ensemble.

The drama. Starts. Here.

I don't think Erickatoure's My Pumps (on the left) is necessarily a bitch track but I'm ready to turn it into one.

Eagerly awaiting high-quality version of Burning Like Paris and other yet-to-be-created bitch tracks from Cunty Ladosha and the House of Ladosha.


Thank you Nita (left) for truly working me, goddammit. You are the best. Catch us on Friday at Get Up! And look out for Sammy Jo's guest spot at Good Times in February for a night of The Cure.


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