Friday, February 29, 2008

I LOVE THE CLAP!

How did I ever not play this song every night of my life? (The Clapping Song, by Shirley Ellis.)

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

SAN FRANCISCO: PERFUMERIES AND HOT BOXES

Friday afternoon, my friend Roberto (with whom I'm staying) and I ventured downtown near Union Square to Kevin's perfumery, which he's closing up and moving east.


Kevin let Roberto (pictured here) and I smell a variety of his perfumes, which he dispenses out of old perfume bottle he bought on ebay. The honey-scented one was my favorite.


My best friend Andrew (right) drove up from LA to hang out for the weekend. Kevin's friends Charles #1 (left)...


...and Charles #2 (right) also dropped by the offices, where Kevin's shop-girl-by-day/trans-performer-by night Veronica Klaus was finishing up her secretarial duties.


The proud proprietor (right) served us champagne till we got crunk at like, 6pm.


Later that night, we drove back to Aunt Charlie's for the Hot Boxxx Girls show, which includes incredible performers such as this 73-year-old lady who, they kept telling us, "is 73 and stilllllll kickin'."


It was mostly older patrons and then our crew (guy on the right), plus this crazy dude (left) who sat next to me and insisted on showing me pictures of yachts on his iPhone.


NEFERTITI COWPRINT REALNESS!

That's a man and those are snakeskin-y pants. (Snake skinny jeans should be the next skinny jean trend.)


She looks like Nell Carter (R.I.P.) and she brought down the house.


The door guy resembled a performer in his own right, working a Robin Hood Goes to a Medieval Fair look.


We were told to vacate the aisle, which is like, the only place to stand, because that's where the queens walk the walk, perform and collect their tips. As you can see, they get very very close to the customers.


We left a little early to catch yet another drag show at the Cinch, but not before this Liza lookalike bid us farewell. Until next time, Aunt Charlie's.

GOOD TIMES: SPICE WORLD!

In honor of Ryan and Josh A.'s birthdays, we did a special Spice Girls night for them at Good Times @ Eastern Bloc last Wednesday, mixed with lots of other really really gay pop a la Dannii, Kylie, Geri and Rachel Stevens.


The sexiness that is Eric Spear (left) was already boozing with Josh (right) when I arrived at 10pm. I was like, LUNAR ECLIPSE! and everyone ran outside, leaving many drinks to roofied. Watch your drinks people!


Non-birthday boy Ryan really wanted to wait it out until the party got hopping but ended up exiting before 11pm, probably to watch Project Runway on TiVo.


Chris (right, with Marc, left and Marcus) has never touched a surfboard in his life but still likes to "hang loose," hence the Hawaiian hand gesture.


Charlie bowed like a pretty little geisha when I bestowed a drink ticket upon him and bought me dinner in the form of a pizza slice. Good geisha.


Christian looks so suave in his leather coat and scarf, despite the icicles you can't see hanging from his hair. Winter sub-zero realness!


Todd, on the other hand, got dolled up in his finest Miami threads for a night on the town. Don't miss my Hell's Kitchen debut next Tuesday, March 4th, at Bamboo 52 for Todd's nonprofit party, 7-9pm.


Wearing a pink tshirt over a massive neck and chest tattoo seems to say, "I'm comfortable with my sexuality but even more comfortable without my clothes on except for when I was getting this neck tattoo, which was really really uncomfortable. "


East Village Andrew (aka EVA) is still dying to bring his midwest drag persona, Mona, out to Eastern Bloc. Maybe we should just a night where everyone dresses in midwest drag.


TEGAN AND SARA SIGHTING! Just kidding. I think that's a dude.


Based upon their hat selections, I'm guessing these two are visiting from San Fran.


DJ Gant Johnson seriously gets younger and younger every time I see him. Maybe it's his placental moisturizers.


Since closing up the bakery, Matt the Baker (right) has been busy letting his grow out and applying for culinary teaching jobs in Bulgaria. Seriously.


John (middle) and I are die hard Lil Kim fans, though he also got down to Lindsay Lohan's Rumors on Wednesday. And thank you Marc (left) for making faces in the background of every pic I took.


BIRTHDAY BOYS! Josh (left) and Ryan both attended the Spice Girls concert last week, where they picked up these pretty tshirts.


If you squint, you can kind of imagine what Cameron would look like with a black and white mohawk. Sadly, that's just a taxidermy zebra head that he's standing in front of.


STOP THE PRESSES! Lulu (left) and Jaime are all smiles! Probably because they are both big Geri fans and loved that I played Mi Chico Latino and Look at Me back to back. You know Lulu does bedroom choreography to the latter.


At first I thought this cutie was a bow tie and a vest, but upon further inspection, I'm seeing he has cleverly paired a tank top, button down, bow tie and ski cap. Get Details on the phone!


These two are so cute, though I feel like they both have an extraordinary number of teeth. In a good way.


The one on the left is all pissed because he was singing along to Wannabe when he was interrupted to be snapped in this photo.


A pensive Jake (middle), being accosted by a dude dressed as one of Debbie Gibson's former backup dancers.


The handsomeness on the right, caught mid-sneeze, requested lots of Paula Abdul, including her newest not-so-great single with Randy Jackson.


Ms. Charles (center), moseying around with some hot men as the diva-fest got underway.


Steven told me that he's had a few Twerking stalkers recently who know his every move, job background and social security number. I'm looking at you Cesar.


I asked this dude if I could take his picture and he said something like, if you let me get you naked in my bedroom, then I'll let you take my picture. I settled for his email address instead.


Damien (left, with Charlie) came out to celebrate Good Time (buh dum bum) and was chatting up my friends, when another unironically asked, "Who's the mulatto?" cuz he was interested. I was like, ummmm, is this 1922?


Evans (left) and Devin, pissed because I didn't have Mary J. Blige's Your Child with me, which is only the SLOWEST SONG EVER RECORDED and would not have mixed in with the Vengaboys.


Eric used to be a child gymnast, which might account for his svelte body and great flexibility. So I hear.


Keehnan was living off of $40 for like, a week and a half. Soon he will be singing Mary Lou Lord songs on the sidewalk. Please buy him a drink.


Chris objects to any and every picture I have ever taken of him despite his boyish good looks and rockin' bod, so let's focus on the guy exiting the bathroom giving Chris the "who does this guy think he is" look.


Speaking of boyish Good looks, Magamet dropped in on Wednesday, probably to hear me play the new Mariah Carey single. He's one of those.


I love you Gary! Thank you times two million for the double mix cd set. You are keeping the mixtape trading tradition alive in the mp3 era. xo, Josh.


I was kidding before about the Debbie Gibson backup dancer look. Homeboy is a cute pie and wearing a Japanese Frosted Flakes shirt!


This dude used to always come by the bakery I used to work at and the Baker swore up and down that he was straight. Straight with a penchant for pink cupcakes.


This picture will spice up my life for years to come.


Bewildered and amazed that I actually played the newest Spice Girls single, Headlines, only because it is Ryan's favorite song in the galaxy. WE'LL MAKE THE HEAD-LINES!!!!


I'm going to pretend that they're cheek kissing and that I still have a chance with the Paula Abdul fan club prez, on the left.


Me and the birthday boys. Or, as the subtitle to Headlines goes, FRIENDSHIP NEVER ENDS!


POGO DANCING REALNESS!


Magamet (left) and go-go boy Kyle, who informed me that the lifesize poster of him hanging in Splash has been STOLEN! Call Earl Dax. Maybe he took it to replace the goat's head he once nabbed (and later returned) from Eastern Bloc.


And then it was 3am and drunk dudes got naked on the pole.


Embarrassingly, I even played Geri Halliwell's rendition of It's Raining Men, the gayest, most camp song ever made. These two queens (and everyone else) totally ate it up.


Wait a minute. Is that the Baker (right) and Gary locking lips? I guess Wednesday nights really are the night when two becomes one. See you next week!