My Key Food was a total hit, especially with Jimmy (left) who basically ate half of it.
Good Times is for the ladies if you're a lady who likes to make out with gay dudes and get your boob awkwardly groped as if it were a ball sack.
Happy one year anniversary to you David! David (right) was a loyal Good Timer back when he had a lowly PR position. Then he jumped jobs twice in one year and now flies to LA and Hotlanta every other day.
Every time I see Ned, I ask someone who that hot guy is and then I realize that its Ned. He's like the Linda Evangelista of East Village gay parties.
Not sure if the guy on the left is black or really really tan, but I'm imagining he tastes like an extra crispy Ruffles potato chip, minus the ridges.
Ricky (left) is a magnet of hotness, which explains why dude on the right is totally stuck on him. Literally.
Recording artist CRI aka Christian (left) came out to get crunk after some messed up appearance at Duvet last week. Kevin (right) looks totally Downs in this pic, no?
DJ Uncut called and he wants his
Tim (right, with Matt the ex-Baker) polished off a piece of cake...and then threw up in the bathroom. Okay, he didn't, but you KNOW he contemplated it for a hot second.
Good Times is many things for many people. For some, Good Times is nipple play.
For others, Good Times is hickey city. Or is it a vampiric gathering?
Rafael (center) and his sisters. Rafael likes to ask me where my sister is, meaning my good friend James B., who I have no sisterly relationship to other than our mutual fairy godmother, Courtney Love.
I know Steven (center) thinks he's the star of this photo, but I kind of feel like Shane (right) is stealing his thunder with his adorably goyish nose.
Damian (right) and Tommy, also the O.G.s (original gangstas) of Good Times. Now stop kvetching and start stretching!
Benji (center) and his adorable friends remind us that Hells Kitchen is not the only place to find cute boys without beards these days.
Frank (right) and Ross totally lezzed out when I played Tori Amos' Raspberry Swirl, which is my secret new club banger even though its Tori Amos circa 1998.
Christmas in March? How queer.
I like to imagine that this outdoor photo captured an impromptu Livin' On a Prayer a cappella moment with passerby while these dudes were taking a cigarette break.
All I can see, apart from Ned's lovely face on the left, is a tshirt that says condom, check and gerbil, check. (???)
HEY! GET ME ANOTHA SVEDKA, WOULD YA?!
The ever fashionable other Josh (right), rocking plaid blazer realness.
This dude had to go and one up the gerbil guy by wearing an "Overworked and Underfucked" tshirt. Apparently crude, graphic sex shirts are hot this summer. Take note!
This is like a Where's Waldo of people who Kelvin didn't take close-ups of. At left, the very talented rock star Cat (of Fannypack fame), as well as Dudley (right, with Joe), probably talking about how Mariah is going to kick Madonna's ass as far as record sales go.
Speaking of Mariah, Ryan (center, with Josh and Cameron) would be oh so happy if I played Touch My Body all night long. Sadly, I only played it twice. "Youuuuuutuuuuuube."
Chris (left) has been feeding my Kylie Minogue remixes for the past month and I can't get enough. (Like a drug, like a drug!)
Stink armpit fetish? Check.
Christian L. doesn't know that I sometimes facebook stalk him. SECRETS OUT!
The divaness that is EVA did a whole DONT PHOTOGRAPH ME! photo shoot outside of Eastern Bloc. She was also too diva to stay at Jonathan Adler and has continuously threatened to go pro with her alternate drag persona, Mona.
Kelvin (not pictured because I think he was in every other photo last week) has a knack for getting dudes to reenact sex for the camera. Or maybe he says make love to the camera and they don't hear the "to the camera" part.
Lulu, horrified at the gropeage going on beside him. "How very dare you!"
Only Eric (left) would ever make three matching bracelets to perfectly match the three stripes on his vintage Yamaha long-sleeve eBay fantasy shirt.
Gary says, "Take me drunk I'm home" just like those mall tshirts that I told you will be big this summer. Don't question the oracle.
Alex (in the stripes) is also an O.G. Good Timer who loves nothing more than an old-fashioned get-naked-on-the-stripper-pole dance contest.
And whadaya know? We have a contestant! Sadly, he was too drunk to tell us his correct name but he did win two shots of Jaeger. Not that he needed them. What he needed was some more stylish underwear.
Do you think he looks that bored when he's in an clothes-off threesome as well?
GENE SIMMONS SEVEN-INCH TONGUE LONGNESS!
The sexiness that is Nathan (left) was in town from Palo Alto strictly to make out with hot jewish boys and put his hand where the camera flash don't shine.
This picture is perfectly tame compared to the last dozen. Robson (right) is even drinking a water! Get thee to a nunnery.
Your Good Times barmaids Darren (right) and Sammy, who continue to pour the strongest drinks on this side of Broadway.
Ryan, Valdez and some other late nighter (from left), seriously pissed off that I've pretty much retired Britney's Gimme More and will only play it at straight girl birthday parties for $20 tips.
Go-go boy Kyle LOVE to complain that he's getting fat just so he can show of his slender stomach and teach people how to hang on a stripper pole sideways.
HOLA SENORITAS! One more drink, por favor! It's almost last call.
Patches was working the midnight shift (just like Donna Summer) but popped in to say hey and wish me and my party with Jimmy a happy birthday. Our baby is one!
Now let's get out of here and get burgers at Odessa with Kevin (above)! See you next week.
I'll also be in Cock dungeon this Friday and then upstairs at the Cock EVERY MONDAY starting this coming Monday. Free drink tickets to whomever helps me come up with a raunchy and enticing party name. xo