I WANT YOUR SAKS

I got a call Friday evening to DJ at Saks Fifth Avenue on Saturday afternoon. I had never actually been inside Saks before but I found my way to the 5th floor (contemporary women's clothes) to play a five-hour set.

When I showed up, I asked where to go and they pointed to this DJ console smack in the middle of the main walkway and that was it. No music directions, no volume regulations, nothing. So naturally, I threw on Peaches' Fuck the Pain Away. Just kidding.


Rachel came by to visit right when I started. I thought she was with a friend but it turns out that she babysits for that girl. I couldn't exactly talk because I was like, working or something but she was like, "Crank it up!" and so the music got louder.


Nobody really spoke to me for the five hours I stood there which was sort of strange. Some customers requested Nelly Furtado or Dru Hill (???) but that's about it. Oh, and EVERY Saks salesperson is gay and loves when you play Mariah Carey. One guy even said to me, "my customers lovvvvvve Mariah Carey so play lots of her." Your customers?


Oh, and next time I DJ at a corporate space or event, I am not wearing this shirt. I think 20 people asked me if I was Canadian or smiled and said, "I love Canada too!" I was like, ummmmmm...fuck the pain away.