ROOTS

At the request of a not-so-near and dear friend who now lives 2,571 miles away in San Francisco, I present to you twerking.blogspot.com. My biographical details aren't all that relevant to anyone reading this, but I'd like to kick this off with some birthplace trivia.

I hail from the same Long Island town as three well-known women:

Specimen A - Debbie Gibson. Debbie hit it big with her hit pop album Out of the Blue in 1987. What you don't know is that Debbie and I had the same theatre teacher. He was completely obsessed with her and would take us on field trips to see her Broadway productions. Luckily, I only had to suffer through her stint Les Miserable, which made me tres miserable.

Specimen B - Amy Fisher. Amy shot Mary Jo Buttafuoco in the head at point blank range in 1992 cuz Amy was banging Mr. Buttafuoco (aka "Jo-weeeee") and wanted to marry him. Apparently I attended a pre-kindergarten class with one of the Buttafuoco kids. Cops found Amy's gun in the sewer directly across from my childhood house but I've never had an Amy sighting despite growing up five blocks away from me.

Specimen C - Lindsay Lohan. Okay. I don't have any good stories about Lindsay because she's six years younger than me. I know, I know -- Debbie and Amy aren't exactly my age either, but I have a little more respect for them because they're, ummm, trashier? Not really. Then again, Rumors will always redeem Lindsay in my book and on my turntables.


Now that you're familiar with where I come from, you're familiar with me. Any questions?