1) This morning's Yemeni plane crash and the SOLE kiddie survivor. Get the reality TV cams to Yemen now.
2) Is Michael Jackson's funeral going to be open casket?! Open caskets weird me out, mostly cuz jews don't do that.
3) Al Franken, aka Stuart Smalley, is going to be a senator! Not as good as Jesse "the Body" Ventura for governor or if Angelyne OR Mary Carey had won the California recall.